SincerlyTee's profile

Striking. Very detailed and vivid. I love a story where you can see everything the charecter sees down to the cracks in the sidewalk. I was with you the whole time, but there were occasions when I had to read something twice because it didn't flow with the rest of the piece. "These people don’t look like the ones out on the street, they’re all dry.", for example. Just occasionally did this make me faulter. I am extremely impressed and I can't wait to read more! Your details and descripive tec...

Wow. Very powerful for someone so young. I am truely amazed. The emotion is raw and honest. The technique is a little rough. My only suggestion is that you may want to cut out the poetry-type of style half-way through. I see why you did it (to prove how broken his thoughts are) however, you kinda lost me a little. I completely appreciate the need to ramble and to put into words your stories, and you have an incredible talent for descriptive wording and fast pace dialong, but now go back and t...

I have to say, this is an unexpected topic, but I loved it. I'm almost at a loss for words and, if you read my other reviews, that doesn't happen often. It was incredibly well written. It flowed nicely and you never lost me once. I'd love to read more on this subject. I think that maybe you just scratched the surface on this one. It has potential to be a longer and (dare I say it) darker story. You write beautifully - please keep creating. The subject matter amazes me. I lost my high school s...

I think that you may have read my journal darlin. My Love died in November and during that time of year, I become extremely reflexive and I write and I daydream. You plucked an afternoon out of my head. That's incredible!! I was young when this happend (about your age) and writing helped. I've read a few of your older pieces and I can't say enough about how raw and honest you are. It's so incredible to be able to connect with your readers the way you do. My suggestion to YOU is to go and read...

Painfully honest! I especially love the question, 'or mentally unreal?' - Like a relationship is something that you can completely make up in your head. It's a horrible feeling that only those who have been there before understand. - I LOVE IT! That you can put your raw emotion down on paper is brave - keep it up! Can I recomend a period in place of the comma in line nine - it would bring the reader the two seperate thoughts individually instead of combining them. I feel like they are so stro...