Again, your ability to liken your feelings to things that everyone (no matter who they are) can relate to is incredible. Some people feel that poetry has to be (in some way) gramatically correct - I disagree. The best part of poetry is that it doesn't have to be governed by the normal rules of grammar - besides, without a little chaos, there would never be those really awesome mistakes that end up in our poetry. All in all, incredibly moving - I was with you the whole time.

After reading this - I ache. "You believe our lives come without preface and commence not needing an epilogue." - This line is perfect. You could've pulled this out of my journal (like so many other women). I truely enjoy your style. You don't spare one feeling. Can I HUMBLY suggest only that you describe the charecters. I'm big on visuals. I felt every little feeling, but I couldn't quite picture it. But, this is just me - I love to see the charecters as well as feel them. All in all, can I ...

Thank you so much for putting on paper what I can't put into words. I especially love the "He is my . . . air" line - because anyone whose ever loved someone and been unable to say it, knows the pain inside. And the last line - striking. I truely enjoyed and was moved by this piece.

Definate strong feelings. I don't feel that it's finished. I know that your fear made you question your life, but now, think about where that fear came from. Tell me WHY you're afraid then, I'm your avid fan for life. Your style was conversational. I love that in my poetry. I don't feel like poetry in itself can be dictated to the countless rules of the English language (past spelling errors). I need to feel as if the poet is talking to me about what he/she is feeling - and with every one of ...

Thank you! Many people I know speak of family first, and while family is important and precious, a good friend, a true friend, is a gift from an angel - I love it!

Painfully honest! I especially love the question, 'or mentally unreal?' - Like a relationship is something that you can completely make up in your head. It's a horrible feeling that only those who have been there before understand. - I LOVE IT! That you can put your raw emotion down on paper is brave - keep it up! Can I recomend a period in place of the comma in line nine - it would bring the reader the two seperate thoughts individually instead of combining them. I feel like they are so stro...

I think that you may have read my journal darlin. My Love died in November and during that time of year, I become extremely reflexive and I write and I daydream. You plucked an afternoon out of my head. That's incredible!! I was young when this happend (about your age) and writing helped. I've read a few of your older pieces and I can't say enough about how raw and honest you are. It's so incredible to be able to connect with your readers the way you do. My suggestion to YOU is to go and read...

I have to say, this is an unexpected topic, but I loved it. I'm almost at a loss for words and, if you read my other reviews, that doesn't happen often. It was incredibly well written. It flowed nicely and you never lost me once. I'd love to read more on this subject. I think that maybe you just scratched the surface on this one. It has potential to be a longer and (dare I say it) darker story. You write beautifully - please keep creating. The subject matter amazes me. I lost my high school s...

Wow. Very powerful for someone so young. I am truely amazed. The emotion is raw and honest. The technique is a little rough. My only suggestion is that you may want to cut out the poetry-type of style half-way through. I see why you did it (to prove how broken his thoughts are) however, you kinda lost me a little. I completely appreciate the need to ramble and to put into words your stories, and you have an incredible talent for descriptive wording and fast pace dialong, but now go back and t...

Striking. Very detailed and vivid. I love a story where you can see everything the charecter sees down to the cracks in the sidewalk. I was with you the whole time, but there were occasions when I had to read something twice because it didn't flow with the rest of the piece. "These people don’t look like the ones out on the street, they’re all dry.", for example. Just occasionally did this make me faulter. I am extremely impressed and I can't wait to read more! Your details and descripive...