SinnerASaint's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Glen Carbon, IL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 06
LOC: Glen Carbon, IL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 06
I am someone who has trouble with reality. It disagrees with me and so I cannot accept it for what it is. So I write through the depths of my despair, of what so few can see. I am who I am, and so I am me.
Items
Version 1
51 Reviews
2 Comments
As his heart is told And spoken true The sinner's hold Is pushing through But as he lies by truth He spends his youth And lives by lies so true
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
51 Reviews
0 Comments
Here in shadows found The secret’s told again Spoken in solemn sound These memories born of sin Here we find infection speaks With lies of hope we make Among the endless smiles we seek The thoughts of hope will break Here we find that love is lost As day by day we fade Alone and hurt our thoughts accosted Side by side with shallow fate Yet, Here in shadows cast We find beauty true Among the broken vast The shadows we hold to
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
52 Reviews
1 Comment
Be strong if only for me This pain it can not last If you must, savor a memory This feeling will surely pass I see your soul is burning Your heart tied off in chains Yet still your love is yearning And with it your passion remains I am sorry I am no longer here To stand by you at your side But please for me no longer fear For your aching will surely subside I watch you from the skies And see you curse your love I see your happiness lies And see you abandon the God above I beg of you to mourn ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
53 Reviews
0 Comments
On the floor my heart lies, Bent and broken. Savor every moment of this For now it dies. Buried by her ever sweet smiles That carve into my chest Her mauled form of love so true To scar my memories This euphony that smites me Spoken from her lips And it burns a hole through everyone who feels it I am not holding on until the end Seemingly burning through loneliness I hang on to all that has purpose Despite entropy and pain So sleep under the moon And o'er the rose And think of me nevermore On...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
53 Reviews
5 Comments
As the sun shines bright And wakes by day His eyes close tight And sleep away But as the moon grabs hold He spills his soul And lies by night to day
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Reviews
I cant say that this poem struck me as something special. It could probably just be my opinion but the repitition was overdone. I understand the concept of anaphora but it seemed overdone. It also seemed like you attempted to write using the stream-of-consciousness style and I can at least give it to you that it was a good attempt. Try more structured poems with a different meter and scansion.
To be honest, for someone your age you have quite some talent for the literary arts. The only true problem I noticed with this piece was its perdictability and its all together common and overused elements. I would try to be more creative. Come up with a storyline that is original. I understand that it is difficult not to imitate the great authors of our time but I see you have the talent and ability to create many masterpieces. The structure was well-done and it seemed to flow smoothly with ...
It is obvious that you have talent, portrayed by your structure and use of effective literary devices. My only problem with this piece is that I could not connect. Usually, stories have characters with emotions or feelings that relate to the reader and this is what makes people like books. Give the characters more emotion and it will work so much better. Another thing I noticed was that though the imagination was there, it seemed identical to everyone else's. By this I mean that it seemed so ...
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