Siren85's profile

Siren85 avatar
AGE: 24
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 21

Greetings from Canada. My name is Shannon, and I am a 21 year old female who is too tired of filling out profiles to do a good job on this one. I appreciate constructive criticism, anything that lets me know what I’m doing right or wrong, and/or how I can improve. Thank you.

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Reviewer Stats
Items
Lyrics / Move and Miss
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
In the valley I've been living Got no friends here I've been feeling low There's nothing to do and there's no women Just church folk so there's no winning here What am I to do? It's been eight long months now I've been missing you   City's calling, city's calling me Back to the places that we used to meet I wish you hadn't moved so far away I'd give anything to go back to those days Downtown's calling, downtown's calling me What am I to do?... What am I to do?   In the valley I've b...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Let it go
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Stand out in the wind at night With a black cat A few bats And the moon Experience the feeling Of cool air moving over your skin Let your hair blow into an eccentric mess And embrace the sensation of it all over your face Hold your arms outstreached And let the dewy air wrap itself around you It will likely be The most sincere hug you will ever receive Take in a deep breath Exhale slowly Blowing the bats a kiss goodnight Don't even try to touch the cat
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Lyrics / Four Letter
Version 1
10 Reviews   0 Comments
oh love you're a four letter word to me I only wish this were a little more easy well too bad, too bad love there's nothing left to take from me I can not give you more so take it easy well too bad, too bad how many times can we try to work it out? I think I've figured it out and we're both to blame how many times will it take to make you hate me? I can feel you trying But you're trying to escape me and we're both to blame we’re both too, too bad, too bad too bad how many times can we, try? h...
Ratings & Rankings
Quotes / Bedtime Thoughts
Version 2
9 Reviews   3 Comments
Sometimes, in order to sleep, we must do the things that keep us up at night.
Ratings & Rankings
Quotes / Bedtime Thoughts
Version 1
5 Reviews   0 Comments
Sometimes, in order to sleep, we have to do the things that keep us up at night.
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Quotes / 6 word memoirs.
Wow. Powerful words, especially as a memoir. Really makes me wonder what kind of life you've led. This is great because it actually makes you think, wonder, dream up little stories about what could have happened. It's different, good job.
This is a pretty good start, I absolutely love the last two lines. The rhyming does seem a little forced though, especially in the chorus. "If you won't debate I'll prove to you it can be great." What is the "it"? I'm a fan of vagueness but it seems to me like some of the words that were chosen are just there for the sake of making the ryme scheme work. "A spark glistens in her cold wet ashes" is an amazing line, but I feel like the line after it just sucks the imagery and emotion right out o...
I love it! I haven't seen such a witty quote in a while, excellent work. This would make an awesome one frame comic. A lot of people could definately relate to this.
Although your point is clear I'm just not feeling it for some reason. Maybe it's just my personal opinion but I think you went about saying what you wanted to say a little too directly...perhaps if you incorporated the use of metaphore? I think this is a really good start to something, it just doesn't feel done to me.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I can't quite tell if this is a comment on consumerism or just an overtly sexual rap song. I think it would assist ease of reading if you didn't use short hand such as, "that Versace ws callin'" "was" isn't that much longer to type out.
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