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Slaygrrl's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 22
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 22
I’m currently completing a Professional Writing degree, focusing on: Fiction, Script writing, Non-fiction and Editing.
I’m most interested in short fiction, script writing and editing.
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Version 1
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Perfection; that’s what Mrs. Edward O’Connor thought as she slid the hot tray of biscuits out of the oven. She set the tray on the table and took off her oven mitts, then wiped her hands on her apron. She looked down at the perfect circles of risen dough and smiled at her creations. It was time to make the icing. She looked in the mirror and studied her dark brown almond eyes. She smoothed her hair down and made it sit in a natural, carefree way. She checked that her diamond earrings were sit...
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There's something beautiful about the frailty of youth you portray in this story. The opening paragraph is filled with detail about what's happening and what's going through the characters' mind, and what state the characters' mind is in. As for the reason for cutting; perhaps you could develop it a little more other than she or he never developed the mechanisms to cope with people's abuse. You've already hinted that it has something to do with the family; but perhaps the motivations for cutt...
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