Sunshine's profile

Her life collects dust. Spiders build their homes in her mind. It is the lonely room of her existence, except for them. It wasn't always this way. She once had a lover. They had plans of growing old together. They went to pick out headstones with one another...they were only 24. It was the first and the only time in her life that she truly felt happy, or...that she just...truly felt at all. She had been the posterchild for wanting, longing and hoping. She had given up such a notion...of findi...

I had a dream a few months back. I hugged you and it felt like home. I haven't felt home in, hell...I don't really know what home is anymore or if it will ever exists again. Your embrace, it filled me. It was as if I had never lost touch with that comfort, like things were going to be alright. I needed it more than you could know. You had something important to share with me, but I never asked what...and the whole time, it took everything in me to let go of you...and to not let you in on how ...

I feel the wound between me and my past. I think I made a mistake. You are my bestfriend. I can't seem to let that pass. To make the transition. You with another person, me with someone else. It just seems so generic. I saw a picture of you just a second ago. How I wish it didn't inflict such pain. And it's not the pain that usually comes with break ups. It's a pain of longing. To understand mainly. To know that everything will work out in the end. That the choice I made wasn't a mistake. I w...

I'm learning how to turn myself on and off. With just a swift movement from within, I feel the switch... I feel the turn of the knob, the chord unplugged. All that I feel, the distant hum, the darkness, the gloom...it's just the death of you. I'm transforming. Fitting, taking forms I never knew I could. Just to save myself, to save myself from you. I admit, yes, it's in defense...another mechanism. But at least I don't run away. I cope. I manage, I control it. It doesn't control me anymore. I...

I know what I could've been for you. I think you may know it too. You just wanted to lie to yourself. To have it all. The freedom, my love. Pucker up and break my body in suspense. I remember being willing to carve your name in my arm. You wanted to see it too, but only beause you wanted to see the shape of things to come. Was this because there was nothing else to do? I've only seen that one side to you. The side that you wanted for me to see. Nothing else. Somebody free. Selfishness will ru...