TKDNikki's profile

TKDNikki avatar
AGE: 18
LOC: Lakewood, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 21

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Items
Short Story / Deadly Dance
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
The room was overflowing with restlessness of the students, sounds of people chatting and a heavy smell of sweat. And there I sat with a dozen of my equally uneasy classmates, my best friend on my left her hands trembling uncontrollably and my boyfriend on my right with his large hand a top my small. I try to recall all I have been taught. Chun Moo is the admiral that invented the first armored battle ship, ChoGiShoDon means iron horse…right? My heart beat faster as another student is called...
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Poetry / Heartache
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Every time I start to think 'I'm better off without him" He does something so incredibly Cute Nice Hot Manly And I can't help but wish He'll want me back Even when I know No Man is worth my heartache.
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Short Story / Into the Light
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Darkness that’s all she could see as she slowly turned in a circle. She held up her hand; thin, pale and nail bitten but she could see it, giving her a sense of reality. Suddenly a buzzing sound, like radio static only louder, much louder. Her knees give out and she hits the cold floor. A sudden onslaught of images sends her into a fetal position, with her face in her hands; now the buzzing is so loud she never heard herself cry out in misery and pain. Images come one by one, in flashes, yet ...
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Poetry / Soul Mates
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
“You are mine And I am Yours” that’s what you said is it not? “Soul Mates” Right? …But as I bled, Blood black as night, You laughed at my death At my dreams of our future, You laughed at your betrayal, At my ignorance Soul mates? “You are mine And I am Yours” …Bullshit…
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Poetry / Untouchable
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I was untouchable My emotions roped in place Never feeling more than I wanted to. … I was untouchable But this disease, This curse, Crept into my body Silently seeping into my skin Wiggling into my veins Overtaking my organs … I was untouchable Until he told me that he loved me … I was untouchable Until I realized that I loved him … And Now all I want is for his touch
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Reviews
This was a really good piece. I normally don't really like rythming poems but this one sticks out. I'd have to say the reason I love this poem is because I have a certian someone in my life that this can really apply to, as do a lot of people. But if I had to critically comment I'd say write it out in poem format and put punctuation in the proper places. Good job and good luck on all future writings. ~Nikki
I love the way you describe the kind of environment shes in, describing the wall's like a warm blanket and talking about the warmth around her and finally the emptiness. Also how you describe the main character, 'delicate hands' and 'porcelain skin' give her an almost fragile look through the eyes of the reader. Then you give her an emotion, a mental state that really set the tone for the piece. And you do all this in a few simple words not long paragraphs that go on and on. I really like thi...
Quotes / My Best Friend
I love this qoute, it definetly hits the nail on the head when talking about bestfriends and everyone can relate to it, especially me because I hang out with guys. ~Nikki
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Finder's Fee
I really liked this story, you definitly have talent for sci-fi. I also haven't heard of Laurel K. Hamilton but the thing about sci-fi and fantasy is elves and dragons are pretty common so I'm not surprised they got that impression. Your grammer is good and vocabulary is simple and easily understand which is a good thing. I'm not sure you should make this a novel but a few novelette size stories about this character would be good, like a small series of various adventures to learn more about ...
I really enjoy this poem because you put childish imagery and whimsical tone together perfectly. One line that sticks out is this. 'Actually there we’ll find a place' I'd say get rid of 'Actually' it just doesn't flow right, like you needed a word and stuck it in there because you couldn't find another. Over all it sounds really good to me so keep up the good work. ~Nikki
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