TNMG's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 19
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 19
Hi I am a writer maily of plays for the stage but i do occasionaly write short storys.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
Act one:Scene 1 (A very expensive modern kitchen,curtains are up,the stage in darkness while the audience enter and take there seats) House Lights Down (It is dawn appropraite lighting should be used Jason,Harry,and Jane,are having breakfeats.There is a knock at the door it is harrys friends,Harry answers the doors and his friends enter) Tom:Harry are you ready for school mate? Harry:Yeah,I just need to get my things okay Tom:Okay mate (Harry leaves and scene changes to a pathway,it is a nice...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Act one:Scene 4 (The scenery does not have to change but it would look better if the bench on stage is removed but this depends on the director) Aaron:That was close Nath: Yea for a minute i thought we where coffin dogers Dan: Yea,that might of been close but i have a strange feeling that we havent seen the end of him.Just beware! Aaron:Hang on a minute who are you and what have you done with Dan? (Dan and Nath look puzzled) Dan and Nath:What? Aaron:Well i think Dan just started to care Dan:...
Version 1
4 Reviews
2 Comments
Act one:scene 1 Inside a classroom - Aaron is acting as the teacher trying to lecture the students about william Shakespeare while the others Nath,Dan and Joe are sitting at different corners of the room being mischievous and generally causing trouble. Aaron: So that is why William Shakespeare is still famous today. Nath: Sir is it true that William Shakespeare is gay! Dan: Is he sir cos if he is then i am refusing to study anything more to do with him Aaron: No! he was...
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Reviews
I think this is a perfect storyline however if i was to change something it will be to make the chapters smaller young adults are less likly to read it if the chapters are long and not small
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I do like this chapter it is one of the few young adult stories i can read without cringing at the lack of storline.Yours is the complete oposite it has alot of storyline.However For one i think it is a bit too long for one chapter if this was published the teenagers mind would move on to something else when they know they have read alot and only got throught half of the chapter.Also if i was writing this (and this is only my personal opinion i would not put in the words knock nock i would ra...
I do like this passage it has a very complx side to it.I love all of your complex words used like for example "scent" some people think it is not complext but in this passage it feels more like a word of lust for this gentleman.I would love to read more as i would like to find out more about here dream because at the moment it doesn't really add up but im sure when you write more then it will do.If i was to change anything I think it would actually to add more detail before she goes to sleep ...
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