You have an excellent touch for the right amount of description. Everything was clear, but not in the overly flowery way you find in some writing. The characters also stand out, especially for a piece of only 500 words. It's easy to imagine them and their complicated relationship, and I find myself really wanting to know more about their lives up to this point and beyond. Brilliantly done.

Very cleverly written. The story is well developed, although it has a few issues with clarity. The style you've chosen to use is a hard one to work with while still managing to make the story feel smooth. As it is it feels a little jerky at times and some of the transitions don't quite connect. The only other thing that bothered me about the story is the beginning. It reads as a little forced to me, and the first paragraph leaves a little to be desired. Maybe if you were to have some reason f...

Hah. I hear you. That's a well phrased, simple way of talking about all those thoughts and worries and dreams that come together in inexplicable ways and give us stories to tell. And that's a hard concept to really capture in six words. The phrase 'reservoirs of disquiet' has a nice ring to it. And it's perfect for what you're trying to say. Well written.

There's a very different tone in the serious musings about the world and the state of things than there is in the silly Survivor parody. The second part is more mature and addresses really important issues clearly with a good story to go along with it. You make a good point, a point that really needs to be made more often than it is, and that alone would make it a good piece, even if the writing weren't as good as it is. On the other hand, the middle section, the 'United Nations Island' scrip...

A true writer's mantra. Well said.

This is a piece of writing that really makes you think about what we fight for and what we stand for. And to question whether it's at all worth it. It's an important question to ask in troubled times, and now it's a question that needs to be asked. Your poem is well written, and even if people were inclined to be offended by your use of slang the overall tone of the poem makes it much less offensive. The tone is bitter and poignant, and well carried across. It makes even words that have carri...

The shuffling takes a moment to comprehend, but it's a pretty good statement about the 'creative life'. It reminds me of all those times I've had the perfect sentence in my head, but as soon as I grab a pen the words shuffle and it's just gone, with only a few leftover words that don't make any sense.

It's true, although for most that doesn't seem to be too high a price to pay. I'm not really sure about your formatting here. I don't think the ellipse really works for you. It makes it seem like two different thoughts when it really isn't. I don't really consider this a question either, but I think that's more my interpretation of the quote.

I like the way the ink is an after thought. It's a good statement about writing. Certainly true for me anyway, good job.