TheDisturbedOne's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Liverpool, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 20
LOC: Liverpool, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 20
Well, where shall I begin. Im a 16 year old boy, but I believe Im diffrent from the majority in that I act diffrent than most. Most of my writings are a bit dark or bitter, but some also are on the brighter side..I just hope things you read of mine hit home, they came from the heart.
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This world belongs to the strong. The weak crumble under the force of the mighty and are eaten up in this life. They are nothing but prey to the strong. The only thing capeable of running the world is might, pure and unadulterated power. Only the strong have the right to live the weak are nothing but a disease to the planet. The strong take charge and lead the world as they would their lives while the weak sit back and watch wishing it could be different. They say the weak are the ones that w...
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I rembember my life as a child so clearly. It was so simple, so peaceful. Living in our little cabin on a quiet hillside with my mother. The only person I had in this so called "family" of mine. Those were great times, beautiful times. That is untill the night my manhood was forced upon me, the night that will always be burnt in my heart.The night that lead to so much bloodshed, so much death, all to my hands.. =========================================================...
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What I wouldn't do for someone to hold oh what I wouldn't do for that love left untold What I wouldn't do for the one I've been dreaming of What I wouldn't do for some gift from above Oh I'd run through hell and back Just to find the warmth that I seem to lack Rob an angel of his wings Just for the joy she might bring What I'd do for someone to make this scattered life whole Even sell the devil, this hollow soul I'd cast down all the starts to the dead of night to only have her come the morni...
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Only under light doth a flower bloom in beauty...A flower tainted by darkness doth wither and die.
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Whoever knew a place like this would actually exist Truely a gift from above land filled with joy, air swarming with love. Where the Heavens and Earth collide. A place where angels must reside. From the break of dawn to the dead of night all your worries and sins take flight and you know everthing will be alright Here the waves always dance and the birds always sing The flowers bring you to a trance and the laughter and sighs ring This is like a dream Where your more than a human being These ...
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I really enjoyed reading this! Granted missing part 1 leaves a few holes in the story for me but it can be worked around if the reader wants to. The only thing I really have to say would increase the effectivness of the story/novel would be to have them speak correct english, its a bother trying to comprehend simple sentences with the strange dialect. Also I'd advise to give a bit more description to surrounding. Not just "the stone gray castle", it leaves a bit to much to the imagination. Ov...
I have to admit, I absolutely LOVE this poem! Amazing imagery throughout the whole thing, I couldn't really find anything wrong with this! (Im more of a fan of rhyming but this is still amazing) Keep up the great work!
WOW! I like this alot! free verse with a message, very true and inspiring! Id only change like one or two lines to maybe help the flow,but thats just me. great job!! -TDO
Not bad! I think you could've restructured it to make it easier to read. But other than that, not bad at all my friend! Keep up the good work and best of luck! -TDO
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