As far as I’m concerned, when it comes to brownies, I like the edges, with the corners being my favorite.
I like jalapeno sunflower seeds the best.
I tend to get too involved sometimes, but the only other thing I know how to do is to just not care.
I owned a pair of velcro shoes from wal-mart. They were real comfortable.
I love being around people I can learn from.
I have the worst luck with cars.
I go to sleep way too late.
The taste of Pepto Bismol is good to me.
Oh, and I like Cream of Wheat a whole lot.
I HATE it when I get a tea or water and the seed from the lemon falls into my glass.
If I had a stalker, I’d invite them inside, offer them some tea or coffee, and let them interview me. That would be fun.
I don’t have a tivo or a dvr. I’m ashamed of that.
I don’t really buy shoes too often. I’ve had the same two pair for two years now.
I tried carrying around day planner once, but it was a bad idea because I always forgot to write down what I needed to plan.
I found out what a pomegranate is about a month and a half not too long ago. I had never even heard the word. I’ve heard it like 5 times since.
At work I used to try and hide the fact that I was going to go get something to eat on my lunch break because someone would ALWAYS want me to bring them something back and I HATE ordering food for other people and bringing it back. I’m not an order taker, I just can’t do it.
There are very few things I care about in this world. However, the things I do care about I really, really care about.
A bee can literally change, or alter, my path. I will look like a fool to not get stung.
I’m afraid to hold babies because I always think I’m going to drop them.
I’m a pretty conservative eater. I went to Jamaica and had hamburgers.
I have never made nor drank a suicide.
I can’t spin a basketball on my finger or perform any other harlem globetrotter basketball tricks.
I’m still trying to figure out a way to win the lottery without playing.
I’m a complete SUCKER for bath and body works.
The fact that Esteban wears sunglasses inside makes me want to never take his guitar skills seriously.
I have a difficult time understanding why the Geico lizard has a British accent.
I suck at pac-man. I think it’s because of the background music, it puts a lot of pressure on me.
My pac-man philosophy: I’m not trying to be the high scorer, I’m just trying to freaking survive.
I’ve never felt the need to peel out.
It takes me about 4 straight games of skee-ball for me to hit the 50,000 hole. I rarely ever go for the 100,000.
I can’t be an ice cream man because I drive too fast.
I have my fair share of doubts.
I hate it when people say that something is their favorite and they can’t even spell it. For example, “I love Will Farrel!”
And then half of the people that read this are like “It looked like he spelled Will Ferrell right.”
I have a lot of pet peeves, but I overlook most of them 95% of the time, until it becomes repetitive.
I have some of the most random thoughts/questions ever.
The idea of personal isolationism sometimes intrigues me, until I get bored.
I hate slapstick humor, but for some reason I’m still drawn to the airplane and naked gun movies.
I’ve got more where this came from.
I hate the “fish face”. If you’re going to make a funny face, please don’t do that one. It was funny when you discovered that you could suck in your cheeks and cross your eyes, but only on that day.
Nobody believes that I am shy, but I am, at least at first. I just do a good job of faking that I’m not until I no longer am.
I’m not really passive, I’m just waiting for my turn. And then it’s all over.
I like challenges, more of the external variety.
I’m not a hunter because my hunting experiences in high school consisted of me getting in a deer blind and falling asleep, every time.
I hate watching tv, but sometimes I do it anyway.
I think the idea of a spork is clever, but the fork part of it sucks.
I suck at hanging up frames because I never really take the time to make all the proper measurements.
I rarely ever gamble because I get too angry when I lose. And I usually lose.
I hate it when people use the “that’s just the way I am” excuse. We were created to evolve and be shaped into something bigger than the vision we have even for ourselves.
I don’t want anyone to ever feel sorry for me.
I’ve raised the vein in my forehead when trying to squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of a tube before.
I always thought the first days of daylight savings were unfair, because as a little kid I remember sometimes going to bed when the sun was still out.
I guess this is part of being a kid, but when I was around the first or second grade I would want to wear my baseball uniform and cleats to school on the days that I had a game. I never wore my cleats.
I love the innocence of little kids, I think that is one of the most awesome and beautiful things this world has to offer.
I’ve never cried because my ice cream cone fell ice cream side first onto the ground, so I’m beginning to think I have never lived.
I suck at making scrambled eggs, and I can’t figure out why yet.
If I pull up to a restaurant and I see someone else in the parking lot, on their way in, I race them inside so that I can be before them on the list.
I used to get water with my meals because I didn’t want to pay the extra dollar for any other beverage…and then I got used to it.
I hate paying for haircuts so I usually let my hair grow out after getting one, so I don’t have to go again for a while.
Everytime I see someone successfully rob a bank in a movie, I’m tempted to try in real life.
I’d probably enjoy going to work more if people didn’t expect me to go.
If you are serving me food and you just so happen to have a missing front tooth, please don’t smile or make me aware of it.
I sometimes don’t pay my cell phone bill until it’s out of service, not because I don’t have the money, but because I don’t like paying bills every month.
America’s funniest home videos still makes me laugh.
I can’t go to sleep if the sheets at the foot end of my bed are tucked in, but I also can’t go to sleep if my feet are exposed. I end up tucking my sheets under my feet.
I’d probably save a lot more money if I used coupons, but I’d feel gay using them, so I just pay more money to not feel gay.
If I’m in a hot tub, I sometimes think about peeing, but then I remember that I’m not 2 and it has since become socially unacceptable.
If a commercial gets on my nerves I’ll never go to that place of business just to spite them.
I can’t put any chapstick on because I’ll feel that I have something on my lips and wipe it right off.
I always wait until my gas tank is below, not on, E before I fill up, just so I feel that i’m getting the most out of my gas.
I’ll never give money to a bum on the street anymore. I’ll instead offer to buy him something to eat. Chances are he’ll make up some sort of excuse, then I’ll know that I did the right thing.
I feel more energetic on a cloudy and mild summer day than I do when it’s sunny and warm.
I’m not a good liar because I’m too sentimental. I want my words to mean something, at least to myself.
Just think, if stepping on a crack really broke your moms back, then no woman would ever want to have kids.
I’m not superstitious because I know that one day God would make me feel really stupid.
I’m pretty funny, but I can’t tell a joke worth a crap, it’s all improvised.
I have a hard time not laughing at things when I think they are funny, even when it’s sometimes inappropriate to laugh.
To be honest, I think backpacking anywhere would suck, unless there were no mosquitos and I’d get to take a nice, warm shower every day.
I sort of look forward to the day, when I’m old, that I get my first windsuit.
I’m scared of bugs and rodents because they are unpredictable. I could just be looking at it and it might attack me, that just doesn’t make sense.
However, if I’m in a bad mood or the fly keeps swirling around my head or my freshly made burger then I become wrathful and will do anything I can to kill it.
I have this fear that I’ll go through life without ever having my shoes shined.
If putting wax on a bald man’s head and shining it with a towel made that squeaky noise like it does in the cartoons then I’d shine heads for a living.
It’s weird, but a Dallas Cowboys loss can put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. They’re the only team that can do that to me.
I learned all my mutlitasking skills when I was a kid and the ice cream man was down the street and on his way to the end of my block. I had to run inside, look for my parents, ask for change, get the change, and then run outside in a matter of minutes. If I was too slow then I’d have to wait until the next day. I also learned how to stall. If the ice cream man came from a different angle, let’s say from right around the corner, I’d send someone to tell him to wait. Those were the most stressful times in my life.
I still think that stepping in dog crap is the worst natural consequence for not paying attention to what you are doing.
I should have played monopoly more when I was a kid, maybe then I’d be some sort of business tycoon by now.
It’s still my dream to catch a foul ball at a major league baseball game, with my bare hands.
I don’t think I’ll ever not be amused by farts, they’re just so funny.
I can take jokes and I can also dish them out.
I have a hard time feeling sorry for fat people when I see them at buffets.
If I were fat, I’d never eat at a buffet.
Breakfast is a liberal term with me, sometimes I eat a piece of pecan pie or if it’s around.
I’m competitive, but not over the top competitive.
Having said that, I have a hard time throwing a game. Even if I’m playing against a little kid, I will suck for a little bit, but I’ll always end up winning…..and I won’t think twice about it.
I love to laugh, I sometimes feel down if I don’t.
The word candy has to be the most popular and universal word ever. What kid doesn’t know that word?
As a kid, I was always denied my desire to ride around in a motorized grocery cart. Because of that, I’ll probably be forced to when I’m old.
I’m an English major at a college in North Texas. When I graduate, I will get my masters in sports journalism and eventually be a sports journalist. I love writing observational humor as well as daily blogging. I try to make my topics as interesting as possible so that people will enjoy their time reading my writings.
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