Thirdape's profile

Thirdape avatar
AGE: 30
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 29

I’m a born and raised Los Angeleno.  I write screenplays for fun but have read a couple books and taken a class on it.  Anything worth doing and all that…

Script are my main thing and that’s pretty much what i’ll be posting and reviewing.  

Item Stats
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Items
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
FADE IN: FLASHBACK: INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALL -- DAY It looks like a normal high school hallway. Rows of lockers line each side interrupted only by classroom doors. The hallway is empty except for one person. A young man is lying face down on the floor in the middle of the hall. He's not moving and there is hole lined with red blood on the back of his letterman jacket. A hand reaches out and turns him over. A good-looking face stares up with dead eyes. END FLASHBACK: INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM -- MO...
Ratings & Rankings
Screenplay / Henchmen (Pilot)
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
FADE IN: EXT. MOUNTAIN -- DAY A single large mountain rises up surrounded by plains as far as the eye can see. On the side of the mountain is a large opening leading into a hangar bay. INT. COFFEE ROOM -- DAY The counter, cabinets, and appliances are are metallic. It is very clean and several coffee pots filled to various volumes are on the counter. A small vent in the ceiling slowly swings open and a man slithers out. The man flips as he falls and lands crouched on the ground. He is dressed...
Ratings & Rankings
Screenplay / Black Death
Version 1
7 Reviews   1 Comment
FADE IN: EXT. IRAQ DESERT -- DAY The blazing sun beats down on an archaeological dig. People are scattered about digging at various points amid ruined buildings. Half a dozen large tents are set up at the edge of the site. INT. TENT Tables are set up and a covered with artifacts of various size. At one table is DR. EDWARD VALE, a forty year old with a receding hairline and glasses that could double as the bottom of coke bottles, and his assistant DR. KATE BARNS. Kate is twenty-seven, tall, a...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Screenplay / Docking The Tail
Very nice pacing. The action and dialog blend well together. My only critique would be the establishing description for characters and locations. A quick physical description would help bring the reader in. As the story went on I kinda got a feel for the characters by the way they talked and acted, but in the beginning it's just dialog. Nothing too elaborate, my understanding is that if you're too detailed your essentially trying to do the casting directors job. A quick general view to help w...
Screenplay / REFLECTION
Great start. Capturing an audience in the beginning of a screenplay isn't easy, but you've succeeded. You should definitely pursue this and finish it off, the story is interesting and I'd like to read more. There are a couple issues with format. Like when you jump back in time with a CUT TO. Generally it should be FLASHBACK: so the reader knows that it is not the same time. But these issues can easily be sorted out with a later draft.
Screenplay / The Carnival pt1.
If you really want to learn format you can grab a book or just read scripts online. Writing Screenplays that Sell is a good book and joblo.com has screenplays. I'd actually suggest both for anyone. As far as story, you grabbed my attention. I liked it and want to know where it goes.
Screenplay / Welcome to Somerset
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