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Thorstrongstone's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Middle River, MD
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 25
LOC: Middle River, MD
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 25
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There is a long walk through a market. There are vendors selling wine and cheeses and cilantro. There are lemons and the common lime. Mangoes and juices made from them and oranges and apples. Coffee stands have hundreds of South American and French types to choose from. Little women in torn brown and gray clothing laugh and yell and woo browsers in to purchase their goods with kind words and toothless smiles. Is this Rome? Is this a warm Parisian day? Where is this? Where are we? Everyone see...
Version 1
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"I really like that dress on you" "Really?" Sarah asks, "I bought it on sale." "Yeah," I say, "it leaves very little for the imagination." "When this is over, you won't need to use your imagination," she says while leaning over to kiss my cheek, "you look handsome yourself." She is wearing a very tight-fitting dress that is the color of coal, or the deep-black and blue bruises that form under your fingernails when smashed. Her breasts hang on the edge of covered and complete exposure. Two pa...
Version 1
13 Reviews
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Katherine with a "K" calls and basically tells me to get lost. There is yelling and screaming and something about how she will get me. She implies that I am as dead as, well, dead. Her voice is a sharp whine that cracks and pops as it travels through 13 miles of telephone cables to my phone. She swears that she is going to kill me. Any other day and this would be a complete surprise to me. When she usually sees me she gives me a kiss on the cheek and a hug that could kill a bear. Now, when sh...
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Reviews
".....Center, Bend, Orgeon." Oregon is misspelled. "ding Christmas with her grandparents and other family members" I think that "and other family members" may be a a bit superfluous. "With her family" would sum it up just as well. "located in Bend, Oregon" Location of hospital has already been mentioned, and does not need to be stated again. "cranial (brain)" Cranial is not the same as brain. The brain is the organ that the cranium holds. "Cranial Pressure" works, or if you wish to keep brain...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
"It wasn’t the well known beige foam “accident litigant” model with the single piece of Velcro holding it in place with which everyone who’s ever been in a traffic accident is familiar. No, this was like some deluxe Marquis DeSade model with straps and buckles, belts and buzzers. It was really my first inkling that all was not well." Seeing how you are not sensitive to language, I must say, those were some fuckin' funny lines. Actually, this whole damn thing was funny. I really enjoyed this a...
"Is it better to be picked apart by vultures or to fall apart in damp soil?" That is one of the best lines I have read in quite some time. And, it also brings a good question into the mix. I would have to say that i would prefer the Vultures. But, that is just me. I really dig your writing style. It brings to ming the work's of Henry Miller. Well, almost, you did not dwell on vagina's for 6 pages. This whole thing is really, really good. "Are we to be forgiven for this capering, our marionett...
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Ah, very George Carlin. Or maybe, just maybe, Gallagher.
Now, as a prologue to this: I hate poetry. But, I did not hate this, actually, I quite liked it. One thing that I have always been a fan of is repetition. And you utilized it well, right here for example: "Then memory crashed, and it took my breath and my will and you" I loved that! and....and....and.... I think I really like this because it is how a human being must feel every once and a while. Especially fellas, we feel this when our love has vanished from that secure place in our hearts. "...
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