Tiddleyboom's profile
AGE:
39
LOC: Charlotte, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 26
LOC: Charlotte, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 26
no longer using urbis
Items
Version 3
15 Reviews
4 Comments
There once was a man fair of face Heavenly visions of possibility danced Emanating from his tender trance. Whispers of happiness licked my fingers, Imperceptibly stoking the longing, a Need for companionship in vast emptiness, Deciding my fate before I had the chance. While behind kind eyes Heavy doubts swept in Overshadowing the possibility of love. Calm in the eye of disaster. A warning signal not heeded. My duplicitous heart, to my surprise, Eviscerated by apathy, (Another careless word) N...
Version 1
5 Reviews
6 Comments
Inside, You decide. Where will you go? Heaven's a lie. Tell it to my face- Solitude. We are Imaginary. Turn the page. This is home. Nothing else matters- Somewhere I belong. So close- I can do it (watch me now). Numb- Understanding.
Version 1
8 Reviews
6 Comments
Ignition - Version 1.0 A flame is lit with harmless flirtation A come-hither look under a veil of lashes Trigger sparks of glorious, amber flashes- Igniting the fatal fire of infatuation. Yearning for love's sweet temptation Desire burnt from brilliant fire to mere ashes When careless words leave deep gashes Of unbridled fury and frustration. Reeled in once again- a fish on a hook Writhing and squirming, unwilling and unnerving Reeled in with that come-hither look Deep in my lungs, I am conse...
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
"Damn, damn, damn..., I mean, darn, darn, darn," Maggie mentally chastised herself. Stopping the nasty words was one of her New Year's Resolutions. And to stop procrastinating was another, she reminded herself as she careened around the corner virtually on two wheels, nearly losing control of her Cooper Mini. Whipping into the only open space left in the parking lot, which was about two city blocks away from her Economics class. Since today was the first day of school, she figured no one woul...
Version 2
2 Reviews
0 Comments
There once was a man, fair of face Heavenly visions of possibility danced Emanating from his tender trance Whispers of happiness licked my fingers Imperceptibly stoking the longing Need for companionship in vast emptiness Deciding my fate before I had the chance. While behind kind eyes Heavy doubts swept in Overshadowing the possibility of love Calm in the eye of disaster A warning signal not heeded My duplicitous heart, to my surprise, Eviscerated by apathy, Another careless word, Never once...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
Oh, I adore this. I can't wait to see the beginning and in (since you've decided that it's a middle). Cary and Carole, I think, would be the best leads. I have a hard time seeing Kate in dancing with gin (or is it juniper). Fabulous, fabulous. Thanks for sharing!
I love the format. How original! I like them both individually and together. Together, the poem seems almost like a rap with two lead singers. They are lyrical and rhythmic. Individually, they each have a new meaning. Thanks for sharing.
Well, not knowing you, my assumption is that this is a tribute to your brother who was loved. I think you can be proud. Your poem conveys creativity with honor.
Overall, I love your poem. It's visual, and I feel sunkissed after reading it. There are a few lines where the rhythm is off- a few too many syllables. Here is my suggestion: 'The long-legged sandpipers bowed, - Comma added darted ahead of the water. - omitted the 'and' Dancing with the restless wavelets, Moving in graceful arabesques. - omitted the 'such' As the day ends and the sun sets Making a shining golden road, Across the sleepless wine-dark sea. Time to pack up and head for home Spind...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People







