Tinamoore753's profile

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AGE: 35
LOC: Fort Klamath, OR
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 25

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Short Story / Under Cover
Version 2
15 Reviews   7 Comments
Under Cover By Tina Moore “Listen Jill, you don’t have to do this,” Henry said, he took Jill’s arm and turned her to face him, “I mean it, this is a very risky assignment. Things could get really ugly,” “Will you quit worrying so much Henry,” Jill pulled away and finished putting on her makeup, “This is not the first time I have ever been under cover you know,” “No, but it is the first time you have ever been a hooker under cover,” He said. “It’s no different than any other case, except for ...
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Romance / Colors of the Sun
Version 1
13 Reviews   5 Comments
ONE Danielle Beckett was late. The auction was probably already starting. So much for looking at the stock before bidding, she thought. A little more notice that Frank wouldn’t make it on time would have been nice. Dani loved horses, but she hated being stuck at an auction for hours, especially in this kind of heat. Frank always did the bidding, but she promised him she would do it in case he didn’t make it. Dani tugged at her shirt; it took only minutes before the moist air had her clothes s...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / The betrayal of Tamar
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Of Ash and Cold
This is a good dream scene. I could picture it clearly. YUK, good description. There are a few grammatical errors. Proofread your story without the spellchecker, there are some words that are missing letters that will not be caught by this feature. The should be then, etc. (leaping up to meet [to meet] the dark around it.)double words. Are all sons as worthless as mine, [and old man wonders.]” I didn't understand this part of the sentence, is it suppose to be an instead of and? (but the fathe...
I thought that was a great story! I have to admit though I did skim through the first few paragraphs. The story didn't grab me until about the third paragraph. I noticed a few grammatical errors, don't rely on the spell checker for all of you words. example, But knowing what I now [new], (knew) nothing major. The story was suspenseful and kept you reading. I don't know much about medical terminology but I have to wonder, do they really tell you that a procedure is dangerous and that you could...
I would have loved to read the whole story, but i ran out of time. Sorry. I think you should start this first chapter at the piont where they reach the whare house. I would maybe add a paragraph before that to summarize the travel through town, if it is important to the plot. If the travel through town will not be indicated later in the story I would leave it out as it does not make the story advance and you still have a good story without it. I hope that made sense. I think you have a good w...
Romance / Alpha Omega
Very interesting. This is well written. I thought it was touching. there were some punctuation areas that I thought commas could be replaced by periods. It gives a good clear picture and really makes you think about life. Good writing.
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Short Story / Pigs

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