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AGE: 20
LOC: Fackler, AL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 07

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Screenplay / From Here to Jail
Version 1
13 Reviews   1 Comment
[Fade in from a close-up of some mundane object. Pan out to reveal scenery: A lady tied to the railroad tracks. Silence all around] Meggen: Hello... HELLO! Anybody!? [Pause] Meggen: I’m going to cry. [This carries on a bit, then the sound of a whistle] Meggen: Oh, not good! Help! Anybody! Help! Somebody! Help! Eric: [Suddenly appearing within Meggen’s sight] You like the Beatles? Meggen: OH, THANK GOD!...What? Eric: Do you like the Beatles...? That was Help! you were singing, right? One of th...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
The pen descends. A line is made. The pen ascends. Another line is created, but it doesn't mean anything. Your eyes are open; not two windows, but two mirrors. Your mouth is a cave echoing the opinions of others. And your mind, your mind is closed tight just like the door to my house. Keyless--you’ve locked yourself outside. I could say something, and regret it instantly, or write it down instead, and regret it when you learn how to read.
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Sleeping on a bed of nails, he lies awake at night -- no motion, and no emotion as he strains to slow his heart-rate. Eating bread crumbs and fish tails, through the day, he sits, sighs, and says nothing as he paints a picture of depravity. Sleeping on a bed of nails, he wonders what time it is for over an hour before bothering to look and realize he's three hours late for another disguised dinner-date. The unknown girl didn't know how lucky she was. Finally filling with malcontent, he looks ...
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Short Story / In The Ground
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Buried beneath dirt, stone, and people, the Earth hides itself. Sometimes, we join in -- chaos and confusion at the center of it all. Above ground, everything is clear and concise. Some sit in their own personal winter -- adopting many layers for warmth. Most enjoy the summer -- admiring the sweaty freedom and candor of it all. People would rather opt for unreserved seating in a warm setting. For example, a cinema -- no place can ever be as empty as a cinema. Except maybe an oversized coffin...
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Short Story / Feux D'artifice
Version 1
7 Reviews   1 Comment
I don’t know how to begin. Well, I guess I just did. Maybe my childhood is a good place to start... wait, no it’s not. I was a normal kid. Around the age fifteen, about to start my freshman year of high school, is when I’ll start... Yeah, soon after my fifteenth birthday (which is June fifth), my parents got a divorce. I chose to live with my mother, because my father had chosen to cheat on her, and then, he chose to move to North Dakota. That December, my mother died. I’ll spare you the det...
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Reviews
Short Story / Sixty-Eight
This story was okay. I couldn't get past the language used by the male character. It's just so stereotypical. Like you're going for a cheap laugh. Also, it's common knowledge that a hoe is a garden tool. A ho is an unremarkable woman... The lack of names in the story is really lame. Surely, they would know each other's names...
Short Story / Night at the Bar
Locked
I liked this poem, especially the last three lines. I guess my only real constructive criticism is a suggestion: "It is an arrangement It is a teetering conglomerate It is a shapely being." Why not make that: "It is an arrangment, a teetering conglomerate, a shapely being." Or something like that.
Short Story / My Bowl of Cereal
As nicely detailed as you were with the details of the cereal, you could have done a better job of describing the room the kid was in, or the way his father looked. Or give the kid a name. That's just me, though. I like those details so I can get a better grip on the image in my head. But, I really liked the story. Good, descriptive words. It's original to say the least, and that's a good thing.
Short Story / Library
This is one of the most creative stories that I've read on this site so far. The bit with Holden talking actually made me laugh out loud. This would actually make a great short story to begin a book of short stories. More obscure and non-obscure references to books wouldn't hurt either. Maybe make some fun of Nora Roberts or Dan Brown. The possibilities are endless.
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