Vegasamore's profile

Vegasamore avatar
AGE: 25
LOC: Las Vegas, NV
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 19

I’ve taken time off from Urbis to figure out what to do with myself as a writer. I went to the library to figure out how to create works of my own find out what the problem is with me and what to do about it. The problem was as it is with many others, is the internal struggle. I couldn’t cope with my work, my writing and my life and criticism as well. We can all give it but we all can’t take it. Small grammer issues don’t bother me, huge problems with character development can. Well problems to others..
But I’d like the work to speak for itself. I’m not perfect. I’m not special and unique more so then others. I’m a writer. I have my struggles. I have daily issues with a line or two or three pages. I am constentanly thinking in my head …

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Non-fiction / Dark seed
Version 1
5 Reviews   9 Comments
I didn’t realize how dastardly one decision had led to a slew of emotional detached relationships and friendships. The epitome of all my broken dreams laid in Los Angeles. The colorful and carefree of my youth was back in the small town of Downeyville, California. I look back on the fateful day when I decided to leave the town to the big city. My parents loathed my decision which left us on non speaking terms. My brother was always a rebel and hard to talk to, so not saying goodbye to h...
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Reviews
Novel Treatments / Kaeus (The Chosen Revised)
by JaneLloyd
First - the overall idea in the beginning about New York and the way society is, sets the rules and fantasy for the rest. Good job in this. Since this has a futuristic vibe perhaps omit the blackberry as the phone. When John and daniel are by the fountain are there people there? The city has been a aprt of the scene so much but it drops here. I'd like to know.
Novel Treatments / Mr. Grieves
by singularity
missing word - ...Kansas City Star, Stone [could] feel the stone’s.... consider revising - Save for the few... [it's a length sentence although it needs to be there are some filler words that could be taken out, or rewritten, the whole line is too much information. I can't pinpoint it to you, but reading it aloud a few times to me shows that it's obvious] Stone crumbled / Kicking off his red furry slippers before stepping onto / Stone wondered where the time had gone [Tense confusion] overall...
66.6667% Review Quality (3 Votes)
Poetry / It Is Beauty Not Perfect
by Carina
Strong opening lines. I can see beauty just sucked me in. In the smile of a teenager - great for showing youth to the cracked skin... ok for showing old. This means beauty for the beholder has no age limit. The use of "but" through me off and i had to re read this many times. Just seemed off. The loving soul... that's a great line. However the beginning and the ending to me do not have the feel of symmetry. I think it has to do with "but"
Young Adult / That's Just life. Chapter two
by shaniaa
Locked
Poetry / Jelly and a Shot Glass
by Johnsienoel
portals of seduction... unique! the stanza with Seeing you for the first time... it's hard to undertstand. The stanza before it was clever and understandable. I just the it's too writerly. Another strong point is You loved the hole in me but not the whole of me (this could mean so many things, and again clever!) the tone is changed in the last two lines but! over all it's good. For once there is clear rhythm with wimpy wimpy and hefty heftly. Personally, i'd change that. The poem is so stron...
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