Willow_Wren's profile

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AGE: 61
LOC: Germantown, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 18

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Item Stats
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Items
Version 1
44 Reviews   59 Comments
Art school love killed by lust.
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Opportunities
Version 1
76 Reviews   90 Comments
Slowly, ever so slowly, I peel off the layers, uncover your firm white flesh and stroke by stroke I make you ready – you are hard now – but soon you will simmer till soft.
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Version 1
74 Reviews   95 Comments
I can feel you like the nematode that runs under my skin leaving track marks as it goes, those long meandering red lines causing me pain. I feel you in my flesh and want you out, you worm, so small and fast, antibiotics don’t do the task. Like a succubus you have come to harass me. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I do not hear songs, my heart does not leap. I am Pauline in peril. And you, vicious villain, have me tied to the tracks awaiting my fate as you drive that steam engine full throttle. ...
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Poetry / animal husbandry
Version 1
73 Reviews   103 Comments
cud-chewing days of pasture graze bovine weight a winter of nothing lying about learning to walk after the cutting and sawing of limbs. lumbering remembering forgetting it was nothing, the planting joint and socket makes one bionic never again to bend at will to kneel before any god or master character of steel though now a cow you survived the operating theatre.
Version 1
75 Reviews   80 Comments
Snow streams under acrid flames burning scrub pine into blackened lungs on high mountain reveries of wasted plum dreams with unacceptable partners in lead lederhosen who promise moonbeams then hand out slugs for the slot machines. Round the fire ring we dance till we ferment.
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Reviews
Short Story / fuck the tombstones
True enough, but it's more a philosophic statement rather than a memoir of one's life in 6 words. You may feel this but how have you lived this?
Still no cigar. It's not a memoir yet, it's an incomplete statement.
You need to separate the words to have 6 words, they all run together, but this is true for everyone, not a memoir of your own experience...you haven't died yet, you are writing still....try again!
LOL! Very funny but not quite a memoir rather a statement on how you see the state of things at the moment... now if you can write a six word memoir about your life in the life-style, that would be interesting.... :)
I think I've just reviewed a couple of your other poems, you have a strong voice and style and this poem I think is the best so far. It made me smile. In L3 I would substitute the first and for when, and take out the and's before the words fuck and fucking. Just too many and's that weaken the poem overall. Get rid of them. Are you a god or goddess? Not clear whether chinaski is a man or a woman. I think she's a woman. It would be an interesting Lesbian poem, but it's not. But the question is ...
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