WindingCrookedTrails has no favorites yet.
WindingCrookedTrails's profile
AGE:
60
LOC: Fishers, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Fishers, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15
Items
Version 1
14 Reviews
0 Comments
Three dollar a gallon gas altered the routine of train travel into the city, crowding and cramming what was once an every other seat experience, a protocol of allowing space, for newspapers, laptops, bags and purses, coats and scarves, or just breathing room to absorb the clacks and the passing cityscape. Ironically it was the regulars who were unseated, those from the farthest out benefiting the most from the economy of mass transit, taking the prized space and relegating those who once enjo...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I liked the phrasing and descriptive words. I would have liked to have known more about the characters. Character development is slow and detailed and takes time and effort. I think you are a very capable writer who could do a good job of developing your characters. It is one of the things that seperates good writing from great writing. You are off to a good start and the premise of the story is very good. Keep reading and writing.
I found myself waiting for the story to unfold, perhaps I'm just eager for more facts behind what I've learned so far. Could use a little more character development for the main character but since this is novel material perhaps that is forthcoming, I hope so. All in all pretty well written with a good eye for the mechanics of writing. I think you need some grab ass phrasing and sentences to rivet the reader. Those are quite difficult to come by and can be slow in coming, they are what sepera...
Deleted Item
Very interesting perspective. I've witnessed the 12 year old ambition and often wondered at the horse's point of view. I especially enjoyed the end, the fear of what is real, larger than the life one knows. Well written, well done
ah, the captain and crew at odds. Seems even with a faster boat the captain's choices will prevent success. I would have liked to have seen more character development and descriptive phrasing.
[ View all reviews ]
