Witchy_Child's profile

I like your use of "lies" and "truth" to depict different meanings. I find the first two lines of the stanza a little confusing (but it might just be because I've not read The Sinner). Depending on whether you read "lie" as falsehood, or "lie" as laying down, the stanza's meaning becomes different. I think it's a pretty good use of words to create two different meanings, all within a small frame of work.

Good potential. I know it's unfinished, but may need some punctuation for pause, otherwise I'm reading it like a stream-of-consciousness work. But it's strong. Keep at it, I want to read the finished work.

Very nice. Misspelling of "beautiful", and needs punctuations. But it's sweet and the end is a nice turn.

It's a good story...but seems like it's been done before. It's hard to create a new fantasy with princesses without repeating history...but let's see how the rest of your work goes. Now for the text: This line:" The only piece of jewelry she wore, was a precious gem...she was sleeping." in the beginning of the story, is too long. I find that there are a lot of run-on sentences, that can be broken up to read easier. This line: "You will never be Old and Wise, if you are never Young and Crazy."...

It's a nice work for a cherished pet. It's a little awkard in places, and the rhyme scheme is inconsistent - but I doubt you were thinking about that while you were in the throes of sadness for your lost friend. This line: "Yet, I know the answer lays place." - doesn't make sense. And the last line as well. Also, don't see why you would categorize this as a children's work, it's a little mature for them, I think. Just lost a pet dog myself, and can understand your poem. Thanks for posting.