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Woodsy424's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: West Haven, CT
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 12
LOC: West Haven, CT
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: December 12
Hello everyone. I’m a 26 year old writer of short fiction, and hopefully someday a full length novel. I have many drafts of my work in progress, but I have never had anything published. I’m looking forward to using this site as a tool to get some positive feedback on my writing and hopefully I can improve upon my work based on what I learn here.
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Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
It All Seems So Backwards Present It took me less than five minutes to get home. By that time, my anger had subsided, but I was still frustrated with my entire evening. I had finals the following morning, and I wasn’t prepared in the least. I looked at the clock above the kitchen sink as I walked through my front door and saw it was nearly 11:00 PM. I kicked my shoes off and thought to myself, “Did I really just sit at Dunkin Donuts for two and a half hours?” Why did I feel like I hadn’t acco...
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
It meant freedom. Freedom in a way you couldn’t quite verbalize. You couldn’t explain it, you couldn’t even begin to talk about it, but you knew what it was and how it felt. Twisting the key in the lock for the first time was like unlocking your spirit from the confines of youth. You didn’t care that the door creaked or that the blue paint was chipped alongside the handle. You didn’t care how the seat leaned awkwardly to the left or how the entire chassis dipped as you settled in. You pulled...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
It all started at the most random of times. It wasn’t like one of those times in your life when you are expecting something to happen. No, it wasn’t like that at all. It was so random, I almost didn’t believe it was happening as it was happening. I mean, I was just going to pick up my dinner. Chinese. Take-out. It had become a weekly thing for me. Monday was Wendy’s. Tuesday was pizza. Wednesday and Thursday was chicken wings and beer at the bar. Friday was Chinese. I used to tell myself it ...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
The Basement The furnace flares its angry nostrils, a lion’s roar to a small child’s ear. The stairs groan with each awkward step down, as fear slithers along the toddlers flesh. Each descending step becomes harder and harder to reach while the naturally refrigerated air fails to cool the rush of blood to his head. His ears burn as he latches his quivering fingers onto the railing, which rattles, also trembling, but from years of handling. The darkness creeps along the walls, extending into t...
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Reviews
My first critique of this piece is the word choice. There are several spots where it seems you ran to a thesaurus to find a new word rather than using a simple one the reader would understand. Indolently is not a commonly used word and it made me pause in my reading, which is something you never want the reader to do. Also, I think the word charming appears several times. Maybe you could change that. Overall, however, the writing is smooth and the dialogue is entertaining, but I am not sure w...
While this can be clasified as a very cute story, it doesn't really take the reader anywhere surprising. It follows the classic single mom on a date storyline from beginning to end. She frantically tries to make herself presentable for the blind date only to fail in the end, but then finds he is just as frantic with his own child. I think there are half a dozen made for TV movies that follow this plot line. I think the ditzy baby-sitter has to go. It's a huge cliche. In order for this to work...
My first complaint on this piece, while it may be a minor detail, is one that stuck with me through the entire read. In the very first line of the story, you tell the reader that Margaret is fifty. I don't believe that for a second. Perhaps if you made the couple in their late sixties or early seventies I would be able to accept it, but as you have it, they are not like any fifty year old couple I know. She is a housewife who claims she has nothing more to learn from the television, while her...
This piece was very amusing and you write quite well, but I am not sure if your ultimate resolution gets the point across. It seems you are trying to show that your narrator's life is rather mundane and boring without his outlandish lies, but since we only get small glimpses into his life, it is hard to see why. We know he works at a hardware store, but there isn't much to suggest this isn't an all right job with him., He hangs out in bars, which seems fairly normal. He has credit card debt, ...
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