WordPro's profile

You're already a better poet than most of the people here shooting for "best poem on Urbis". That's why I rate them at 1 and you at 10. You will become better through feedback. The raw material is there. It's not simple sad love poem like most neophytes write here. There is depth, a literary sensibility (Hesse! Yes!), some darkness (puking in the toilets) and and ending that has some resonance, pointing somewhere unexpected ... Good initial effort. I recommend that you read great poetry and s...

You can definitely become a better writer (we all can) through feedback, so I rated you high in terms of your goals. This is a nice story. I hope I get the meaning right, which is something you might work on--it is a bit unclear and meandering here and there. But my sense is that its subject is an older couple settling into a home that may theirs for the rest of their lives. Is this correct? It conveys that warmth of home and marriage, the comfort of an older couple who've settled into true i...

The poet Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet, advised him that love poems, though typically the first type of poem authored by young poets, is also the very hardest form to write well. It takes experience to write about love/eroticism with anything useful to say. This poem lacks that insight. So, it's not bad, just typical, predictable. I know these pyrotechnics all to well myself! Anyway, good first effort. See if you can tighten it up, focus more on what you're really trying to say here, and ...