Wordtinker's profile

Please rethink your choice of words. Less succinctly put - basically you have three two word sentences here and forgive me, but the sentences are almost trite. You can do better. Think - how often have you heard those sentences? They're everywhere - in every piece of inspirational, self-help, motivational, touchy-feely work out there. Your job at this point is to find different words that say the same thing. I like the 4-5-4 syllable balance you've got going. Maintaining that yet using differ...

I like the emotional stutter it delivers. I like the way you built the number of syllables in each section, the way the rythm builds. However for some reason it lacks a certain something and I can't decide if it's something about the language that's bothering me, or if my ear is simply too used to having the gerund at the end of a thought like this.

Perhaps I am too involved with music today, but having read this twice, I can't find the criticism in this piece. It's a wonderfully adept critical discussion but I'm missing your point. Perhaps I arrived too late to Urbis - I don't know Urbis without a skip button. I can say I've never used it, too fearful that I might later regret 'trashing' a piece that might have taught me something. Spellcheck missed it in your 6th paragraph when you intended 'than' and ended up with 'then'. It detracts ...