Interesting. At first I thought the poem was about a very cold person, but in the end I'm guessing it is about perfect lovers? Soulmates? I found it cool how you didn't really seem to care about rhyming, like this poem was meant to be plain and straightfoward, as love (I think) should really be just plain and straightfoward so you aren't so mysterioius. Oh no, that was just me rambling on. But all in all this poem is interesting and unique.

This is a very beginner poem. Keep working and you may be a great poet someday, but it takes (sometimes) hard work. It sounds like the rhyming is forced, extremely forced. Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, it may help when reading, to make the poem go faster, or to make it more interesting and intriguing. Note: the word "hart" is spelt wrong, it is spelt "heart"

I think it would be better if each line would be seperated, like in your poem "stressed". The word "cuz" is just weird, I know you mean the word "cause" but it still is just weird. Same with the word "wit" in the sentence " I shot my family wit ugly words...", those two words just seem like they don't belong, or at least their spelling doesn't belong. Also the number 2, usually people type/write out numbers under one-hundred, usually. That is also an odd thing to put in here, try to type out ...

Hmm, your poetry is starting to look like rap. The word "stressfull" is spelt with one L. Im a bit stumped though. What does the word "undresianed" mean? I've never heard of the word. I looked it up, and I don't think it is a word, if you could just get back to me on that note I might understand it better. But over-all since I am reading this like a poem it is weird, but when I view it as rap lyrics, it makes it more interesting.

This touched my heart. This is sad. I read the notes for reviewer part, and I bet your mum will live for her birthday, you have to be positive about it! Great memior, even though sad and heart-breaking, good luck.

This still needs some work. I really do love the whole story line and what it's about. But maybe you need to elaborate more on conversations, or descriptions on people and places. Maybe if you have an argument between Aries and Watesha about the powers, the whole "oh yeah I believe you, I'm not skeptical" deal isn't good. The storyline is going by too fast for me. Also, I think spacing out these two chapters would be nice; this is just too much information for only two chapters. You find out ...

I read the first two chapters and then I read this. I like the prologue more. You elaborated more on details. I understand that the planets name is in the description or whatever, but if this is ever published into a book the readers need to know or should know what planet they are on. Unless I'm mistaken I don't believe that the planet's name is mentioned in this piece. Also, how do the girls get to their adoptive families? Does Malaysa give them to the families? You should make this clear, ...

This could make a nice rap song, well kind of. I compeletly 100% feel you on this subject! I too have gone through this. There were some spelling errors, but I understood it :D Nice work

I like the message that I get out of this. The rhyming seems forced. The last line should be changed, or the last two lines should be deleted. By the way, in the third to the last line "dear" is supposed to be spelt "dare".

This is sweet and romantic. It sounds like a line that would be said in a chick flick...which would make me cry...just too sweet...good job.