aaronlomax's profile

aaronlomax avatar
AGE: 25
LOC: Clanton, AL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 24

Aaron Lomax is a lyricist, poet, and currently writing a book, but will completely deny it if asked.  He resides somewhere in the tightened, about to burst, southeast bible-belt of the U.S.  He’s a liberal independent who is getting his priorities in and out of order in ‘07. Depends on the day/time/mood he’s in.
  
“Life is a never-ending cycle of friendships”
-AL © 2007

my base camp is located at:

www.myspace.com/crawlingthecarpet

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Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
I'm mono delirious. Every three seconds of your dialogue Flies past me. I'm lo-fi Kappa Beta Duppa Sigma Chi All at the same time. It's what i want, I say, "Take this shard and bring me a vase." While they go african chant crazy over this, I'm a hero with a sweaty right hand.
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Poetry / Sound Off 1,2
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I have a sensation in my bottom lip, Connecting to my second finger tip That says, Well, i can't say. The melodrama of it could kill. It's L word syntax can be its own Spanish fly. She, a compulsive perfectionist even keeps rhythm for me during love-making.
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Finger over a cotton mouth, Sitting on the stoop of her house. Paint stains on my jeans Are her only memories of me. Death's little angels Light intermittently On my brow. Lies and truths bicker To build my glass house. While i wait, In my stone-washed memories, I realize, I've a glass shed But no roof.
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Poetry / Hanging Saddam
Version 3
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I'm as dumb as a brick But didn't they give A revenging militia... I know, I know You don't care Melissa. When they hung Saddam, We were a shadow. Like cowards, We allowed the taunting and torture, Lent his neck some moisture And let him drop from a Pitiful excuse Of a noose. A political excuse Of a process. Kept it visual, To cover ass, no less. Melissa, How do you feel? What are "you" about? No, I know Life, we have that stuff. "What When Show's on Shut up." Deja Vu Vietnam long haul And no...
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Poetry / Hanging Saddam
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
I'm as dumb as a brick But didn't they give A revenging militia... I know, i know You don't care melissa. When they hung saddam, We were a shadow. Like cowards, We allowed the taunting and torture, Lent his neck some moisture And let him drop from a Pitiful excuse Of a noose. A political excuse Of a process. Kept it visual, To cover ass, no less. melissa, How do you feel? What are "you" about? No, I know You don't give a fuck, What When Show's on Shut up. Deja vu vietnam long haul And no no n...
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Reviews
Novel Treatments / Crucifixion in Gomorrah
The descriptions are tedious, but very good. the images convey exactly what you want to say perfectly. i would put more emotion and drama into the last paragraph. i mean....a lion just laid down next to him....that's pretty amazing. don't over-dramatize it, but spice it up a little more. shock me a little that the lion didn't rip him to pieces...and stay away from cliches like "rip him to pieces" (referring to me...duh) good read, very good narrative, flow, and concept. look forward to review...
Poetry / Something New***
a poem talking about writing a poem just isn't an enticing read. the first line made me want to stop reading it. i mean you have the potential to write good poetry, but this is nowhere near what most people consider "poetry". just being honest and trying to help. write a poem about what you know. describe something. make me feel something/see something/smell something/punch me in the face with your imagery. keep working!
blankets OF sleeping giants seems like a better ending sentence. i love it. Very original descriptions and the main point of the story...the question, "are you alive...etc" is used in an excellent manner to keep the story flowing. kudos to you, my friend. i would have double-spaced it for easier reading, but that's nitpicky shit. there are no splints for broken hearts...etc. is also a very very good line. Lots of good lines here that make the story strong. the story itself drags during the wh...
Poetry / Gamblers Ode
i would direct it toward being a poem man. it's awful hard to sing idiocy. it can be done, but it's awkward. the would idiocy is and awkward word following lunacy. gambling addictions seem much deeper than how you describe the emotions in the song. it comes off like a cliche punk song. i'd say turn it into a poem and get original about the real details of a gambling addiction and the "idiocy" of it all.
Poetry / Why
the poem is complete. it needs more imagery in it. i think it's too literal at times. don't ever end on a question. well, not "don't ever", but it's just not good for publishing sake, i guess. end it on black man, i guess. in the 3rd stanza...."i know my son life" reads wrong in regards to grammar. "son's" is more correct, but that's just me. my humble opinion.
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