acdcfan1's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 01
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 01
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Use me all you want, point and make fun while you can forget about me now while im locked away in my cell but trust me ill be back to raise some hell ill be back on top in less time then you think watch the time, make sure you dont blink cuz itll happen when you arent payin attention itll be the first time ever mention gettin revenge on me, you thought i wasnt a worthy opponent but ill make you eat your words, ill make you own it just like i made all the rest face their crime ill make you sit...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Use me all you want, point and make fun while you can forget about me now while im locked away in my cell but trust me ill be back to raise some hell ill be back on top in less time then you think watch the time, make sure you dont blink cuz itll happen when you arent payin attention itll be the first time ever mention gettin revenge on me, you thought i wasnt a worthy opponent but ill make you eat your words, ill make you own it just like i made all the rest face their crime ill make you sit...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Laying in bed images flash thru my head i take another hit make sure the joint is fully lit alone from the rest but still feelin my best calm for the moment, if only it could last my brain is slow but my heart is fast stoner is my name weed is my game i dont smoke to have fun but to leave this world n let my mind run it sounds depressing but its normally not even tho images from the past still haunt i guess you could say i do it to get thru the day you judge me just because i smoke but i...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
they say no pain, no gain and i couldnt agree more. ever since my soul got up and walked out that door. i put up missing posters all over town, but no one seen my soul around. maybe i should jus get up n look for my own but im too afraid ill end up knowing im alone. i wish i know what to do to reverse this cycle, i dont wanna end up like michael. cardiac arrest, give my heart a rest, put my body to the test (check) yep im still the best. well at least to me but obviously thats all that matter...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Im done with this behind these eyes is something no one will miss im too fucking depressed to lead a normal life im too fucked in the head to stay away from the knife the knife of pain sticking in my heart from which il never be freed its not me, a normal life ill never lead. you dont know me, you can never know what i see but that wont stop you from startin controversy everyone sins, we all fuckin judge people we dont know we all act fake, we all put on a show. i do it too im not just spitti...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
good start. being a writer you must know that its key to capture your audience within the first few lines up to the first page, and you did that very well. i like how right away you build suspense by briefly mentioning what had happened in the mothers womb and leaving it there for now, hoping you will tell us more, which makes the reader keep reading
short and to the point but also deep when you think into it, which is key for most poetry. maybe try to rhyme the first two sentences tho thats what i would do, but i guess i do that most of the time haha. overall its a 6/10
good piece, sometimes its hard to let go of someone or something but after the grieving period most of the time its necessary to let it go, not forget, but just let it go. i like the repitition (chorus) of this piece and the length is about perfect, nice ending also.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People












