alecthegreat's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Alexandria, VA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 22
LOC: Alexandria, VA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 22
I’m an author living in the Washington DC area--though I’ll be moving to Africa in July (Peace Corps). I’ve written a couple of novels, several short stories and too many poems to count. I have my Master’s degree in English--an emphasis on Creative Writing and American Literature. Whenever possible, I try to travel overseas--which has given me inspiration for several of my stories (I’ve traveled through much of Western Europe, and I’ve briefly lived in Costa Rica). I’m currently working on revisions to novel while preparing to join the Peace Corps--which I hope will further enrich my writing.
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Dear Jud Laghi: The Sun's Surrender is the story of Jake Barton, an affluent young man who finds his life suddenly turned upside down after his father dies on September 11. Not knowing how to understand nor cope with the tragedy, Jake quickly spirals and reaches for alcohol, drugs, and anything else that can take his mind away. It's not until a year and a half later when his longtime girlfriend decides she has had enough that he really starts to think about his life or what he should do. Fina...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
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Dear Jud Laghi: The Sun's Surrender is the story of Jake Barton, an affluent young man who finds his life suddenly turned upside down after his father dies on September 11. Not knowing how to understand nor cope with the tragedy, Jake quickly spirals and reaches for alcohol, drugs, and anything else that can take his mind away. It's not until a year and a half later when his longtime girlfriend decides she's had enough that he really starts to think about his life or what he should do. Finall...
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Version 1
6 Reviews
6 Comments
Screams race through the air after her as Elizabeth Marie Baker runs as hard as she can through the night streets. She hasn't looked behind her in at least half a mile and has no intentions of doing so now. She's knows they're there. She knows they're closer than she'd like. She doesn't need to see it with her own eyes. So, she runs as she has each and every time she's had to scout. This time was different. The monsters were more p...
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Version 2
8 Reviews
2 Comments
She stands there (in front of me). Her arms crossed. Her black hair almost fades into the night sky. "I'm sorry," she says and I stare into her dark amber eyes. "We just don't have the same faith." She's Irish and of Rom decent. Which makes her family Irish-Catholic Gypsies. Yeah. They're all like this. At least, that's my assumption. You either follow their way of life or you're gone. There is no compromise. I stand there and I think about what she's just said. What it means. She's there in ...
Version 1
12 Reviews
7 Comments
one. I step off the plane and watch as water trinkles across the glass windows blocking me from exiting the immigration line. This was the first plane I've been on since my father's death. I swore I'd never fly after 9/11, but here I am: Paris, 2003. Mike and Robert won't be able to join me for another month. That's four weeks where I can come to acclimate-assimilate-to their different culture. Four weeks. Four weeks to escape. "Business or pleasure?" The woman's question spins my head. "Wha...
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You have some very interesting and imaginative ideas in this. The biggest concern that I have involves suspense and description. Much of what happens here could be drawn out much more--giving the reader a more vested interest. In terms of description, I have a good sense of the main characters, but everything else feels vague--especially once they get to the Elven village. Give us some more concrete descriptions of the scene and the people. Here are a few things I noted while reading: “What w...
In general, this is really well written with a lot of beautifully detailed descriptions! You never mention the aunt dying, but I assume she did since he was dead a few days--you might want to mention her death. There are a lot of passive sentences in this story that could be changed to just past tense, and it would greatly help the pacing and readability of this story (all those sentences that use "had"--most of them could simply drop the had). A few minor things: "sky that spitted white furr...
Interesting take on the eye patch prompt. You have some great details in here--especially early on, but there were several moments that left me somewhat confused as well. "...stupor, clandestine giggling and then the doorbell!" - The exclamation point isn't necessary here. Consider dropping. I don't think the giggling is ever really explained, either--was it from the living room? "Jeremiah scratched and growled out a yawn" Great description Your first mention of Abigail seems a little too muc...
This is an interesting little story, but it could certainly be polished up a bit. Elements of this remind me of Poe's "The Pit and the Pendulum." Specifically, the darkness while the narrator feels his/her way around the perimeter of the room. One thing I don't get from this story, however, is a feeling of much empathy for the narrator. I wanted to, but just didn't have it. Perhaps if we knew more about the narrator, had more of a sense of his/her fear, or a little more suspense that would he...
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