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alexianx's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Gastonia, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 22
LOC: Gastonia, NC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 22
Don’t compliment me; critique me. If something works, tell me why. If something doesn’t, tell me why. Don’t hold back and if you feel the need, be harsh. Just be honest.
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Version 1
8 Reviews
0 Comments
Note to self: I'm not infallible.
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Version 1
17 Reviews
11 Comments
Air whispered across flesh that had felt nothing for what seemed an eternity. Unfamiliar senses assaulted. Touch. Smell. Sound. He recalled them from what seemed another life, but experienced them on the level of a newborn. The mail coat that hung heavy across his shoulders, framed by sable hair, felt proper, its presence comforting. His surroundings, however, did not. Intricate Egyptian hieroglyphs were etched into the floor beneath him, following the rim of a circular pattern carved into th...
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Reviews
It's well-written, but certainly nothing within the guidelines for the competition. What does someone watching you dress have to do with your experience as a writer or narrator?
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I'd use punctuation, especially when something is this small and it really stands out. State of being without a drug? You're saying you can't write, have no appreciation of art and can't love or aren't loved? Wouldn't the thrill of writing, your love of art, the adoration of others and your empathy for others be as exhilarating as a drug? You're saying the opposite is true.
The only thing this has going for it is pulling off so much repetition in such a small amount of text. While it isn't bad, it is rather mediocre, mate. So you're creative; where's the kick? Kudos for staying on topic and pulling off the device, but I don't see any strengths that will make it stand above the rest of the submissions.
The contest is for a six-word memoir on your experiences/life as a writer. What does this have to do with that? You told a story in six words, but you failed to express why you told it, as there's nothing to suggest why you felt 'wonderment', 'sadness'. The intent is to express in entirety, not partially. This is partial expression and off-topic.
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