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alfabet's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: South Africa
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 17
LOC: South Africa
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 17
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Version 1
22 Reviews
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She had done nothing wrong. The windows shone with the last rays of the day as she turned the key in the lock and left the house. No one was watching, the neighborhood as quietly green as any other day. Where the lawn ended the gravel of the walkway started crunching under her feet as her step quickened. I need to go, I need to go went the chant in her head, always in time with her step. This is the way you teach young children and the mentally insane to control overt emotion - with repetitiv...
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AWESOME! I enjoyed every single second of it. So well-written it keeps you on the edge of your seat untill the very last bit and then you throw the curve ball. Intense is all I can say!
Awesome, I think I will have to get myself the book you spoke about. You succeeded in creating a grammatically sound, densely constructed piece that reads fluently and thoroughly informs the reader while not overusing adjectives and descriptive nouns. Your style has a very pleasing lyrical quality and I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Very well written. I liked the brutal honesty a lot, you certainly do call a spade a shovel. The piece is grammatically sound, densely constructed and the dialogue flows extremely well. I really admire that, as it is something I battle with. I liked how your piece was written without a hint of homophobia, when I read it I see the situation completely through your characters' eyes and i feel compassion and understanding for their dilemma. This means you managed to create from nothing a fiction...
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I really enjoyed this piece, it paints the dreamscape beautifully. It is grammatically sound, densely constructed and manages to convey the nonchalant way we tend to accept the most odd things in dreams very well. I really have no critique, I can't see how it could be bettered in any way. "Somehow or other I ended up in Rockdale" should be 'somehow or another' though, but that is just nitpicking. I liked the last sentence best, it balances on the razor edge of intelligent humor and had me spl...
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