Some nice imagery. I enjoy the repetition of "I'm immune," but that immunity is abruptly lost in the last verse. It seems like that may be your point - that eventually everyone gets sucked into the Sixth Street life, that no one is immune - but, if so, I think you could work with the language of the verses more to invoke contagion, sickness, and ultimately, your lack of immunity to the environment.

I truly enjoyed this story-poem. Wonderful contrast of points of view from the characters. Strongest imagery comes in the 5th verse - great use of words there! The 6th verse - although I LOVE the line "Retread Barbi on the rubbish heap" - doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the tone of the poem. It loses the "Texas burns" repetition and theme, seems to drift away from the rest of the piece. Over all, very nice!

I find this poem to be overwhelmingly repetitious, and the wording very cliche. I think you could play with the idea of juxtaposition in a much more artistic way, exploring words more fully, breaking the commonplace expressions. Scratch the cliches and build some new imagery out of them!

I like the overall movement of the piece from starting as an "incorporeal voice" to being very corporeal, worn out bodies. Nice description of your muse, a soul-connection with another person. At points, it seems like it's the two of you against the rest of the world; you find strength and peace in one another. Well conveyed through your words!

I really love this piece. The tone to the poem - thanks to the rhyme structure - is light, despite the heavy nature of the topic you explore. Makes the title very fitting, though. My favorite line is "They lurk in places I don't go"... Seems to place blame for these attractions on the "cats," while really the problem is the man. In the last verse, "Dump on me again - it makes my heart grieve" doesn't fit quite right -- too many syllables, it comes out awkwardly when read out loud. Hope this h...

Very intense for the length - nicely done. I like the first person perspective and the tone he uses (slang "choppers," "the kid," etc.) I think you can play with this a little more to make the character/tone even stronger. Love the narrator's feeling that he'd "done something good" by saying that the choppers were coming... he's not getting that feeling from his job as a medic, by dressing wounds. Great conveyance of hopelessness/futility.

I really enjoyed the eroticism of this poem. I agree (somewhat) that the use of so many ellipses can ward off readers strictly because of the form, but I understand why you use them, and they particularly enhance the fluidity of interaction in this piece. LOVE the use of rhyme within the lines -- my favorite 2 are "quiver… shiver she delivers…" and "afflictions… affections… multiple… intense… directions…" The lines just roll off my lips. Yummy...

Last 2 lines have too many syllables, so this limerick isn't quite right as far as form goes (it reads a little awkwardly), but funny. I have two kids... catch myself singing kids songs all the time...

Very nice! I like the imagery of this memoir-poem - reminds me of much beat literature. A concise description of a road trip. My favorite line: "Ten hours of gin rummy..." Could perhaps be expanded into a longer work, with more detail of particular places...

Lines that rhyme -- from you? A nice twist on your usual style. Is this new, or have I just missed too much of your new work? Nice images of wanting to simultaneously take in your lover and be inside -- emotional intercourse. Sometimes even better than the sexual variety. It paints a nice picture of desired exchange and intertwining -- physical, mental, and spiritual. Ideal love. Isn't that everyone's wish?