amiller's profile

This part is very brilliant: the sadness you left me clutching like and old blanket something damp and rough to rub my cheek on I love the way you have made sadness so tangible. An old damp blanket feels horrible, is not much comfort and that is how sadness feels. This is very wise and a good observation for someone only 27. Also very well written how lack of sleep distorts truth. Very sparely stated but makes the point: staying out all night would leave me little daylight to see the truth i...

This is very good. I have family members who are mentally ill, and the way you decribe the blue light of the television, the jingles, (which often metally ill people reeat over and over non sensical phrases} the relious preoccupation and distortion of religion in mental illness, the florescent light in the sad hosptial room. The part about the dog really drove it home. It had a good beat and rythem resonating in sadness. You really have a lot of talent and succinctly describe something in a s...

I liked the cadence, but are we talking about a love relationship or a person or what? Mybe you could introduce the subject by saying something like: her sharp glance, confirms all is not well. Or some reference to what is not well. I liked the last paragraph "the song of loss....sung quietly to the self" very beautiful imagry throughout, but I felt frutrated at not knowing the subject. I liked how the despair took on a life of its own. Pretty good writing overall.

This is great story. I loved the simplicity of your descriptions. The description of the man was sparse, but effective. Very Richad Braughtigan-esc. I loved the irony and honesty!

I found this to be very funny, and I am a girl. I guess now that I am fifty I can laugh at the times in my life a guy really has been that shallow while breaking up. Your sense of comedy is very evident and I sang the lyrics out loud and found them hilarious. I loved the sad little twist at the end.