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andersonwilliam's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: Leavenworth, KS
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 01
LOC: Leavenworth, KS
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 01
Hello. I am a twenty-two year old aspiring novelist. I am currently working on the first draft of my novel “The Winds of Change”.
I am studying to become a computer programmer, just in case my writing is hated by the masses. In which case, I will retire to a life of quiet reflection…and soul searing regret. J/K. I hope you like my work.
Items
Version 2
8 Reviews
0 Comments
A Consciousness regards Darden Avenue and the young man walking slowly down it with interest. He knew them both, knew exactly what they were. He had, in fact, more or less fashioned them from the endless well of his own imagination. It is a painful thing to accept. It was difficult to accept that this was his fault, or mostly his fault. Who is to blame, He muses. Is anyone to blame? And then the most difficult question. Why? While this Other ponders these conundrums, the young man stops bene...
Version 1
10 Reviews
6 Comments
Chapter Two John was tossing and turning in the badly neglected twin bed that Teniford University had provided for him. It was the dream again. Scott Thompson watched his best friend and roommate uncomfortably as a wave of guilt wracked his conscience. John had been so peaceful before the accident, but since that day on Route 59 he had changed dramatically. He was still quiet, but now that silence spoke of something else besides tranquil musing. It spoke volumes of sadness, anger, and a deep ...
Version 1
8 Reviews
2 Comments
The Secret Origins of Will Volume One: Creation The creation of The Will is a tale shrouded in darkness and mystery. Men have long searched for the elusive truth in this matter. But today, I will reveal my history personally. The Will was created by the Dark Lord Karl Rove during the Eighth Decade of The Twentieth Century in order to gain dominion over the free people of Middle America. In disguise as Tom Cruise, or "Lord of Gifts", he aided the Republican smiths of Congress and their leader ...
Version 2
9 Reviews
2 Comments
Today, I took action! Today, I stood up tall and proud. Today, I declared my independence from the deceiver known to all MySpace users as Tom. I joined the MySpace family with the intention of reconnecting to old friends, and maybe even finding some new ones. Well, imagine my suprise after finding a number one friend immediately. Clothed in pristine white, Tom stared back from his JPEG and into my heart. I thought to myself, 'What a terriffic fellow we have here. I have only been on for a few...
Version 1
9 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter Three Odd things started happening around John immediately after he awoke from his coma. It was mostly little things. For example, his favorite songs were almost always playing on the radio, which could have been mere coincidence since they were so popular anyways. Other things, like money, became less of an issue. If John was in desperate need of cash, he and Scott would find just enough to cover whatever purchases they had made or planned on making a suspicious amount of the time. O...
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Reviews
The imagery was very vivid. At times I didn't feel like there was a flow, but that might be intentional. Perhaps by keeping it choppy you are hoping to keep the reader off guard? So that they might receive it like you envisage? Nice, if that is what you intended. Otherwise not so good. But I think you meant to do it.
I liked this quite a bit. You have a good sense for dialects and giving the characters some flavor. This was just a really good, really expressive piece. The dialogue was natural and very effective. I liked the Ms. Jubelaya (sorry, If I spelled it wrong) sub-plot, or perhaps main plot? Your protagonist seems intelligent and like she may be trying to escape her past. All in all a very great read and a wonderful distraction for my evenings distastefulness.
Simple and very direct. I would have liked to see you expand on the the first verse, but that is ok. Why do you love the new one so much? I just think it would be nice to know. Ok, though.
I am going to try to be gentle...this needs alot of work. You don't develop your characters at all and that is a huge problem. It is great that Jonathan was athletic and you were smart, but really what makes you unique? There are alot of very smart and very athletic people out there. Sometimes both. The writing was very simple - not that it has to be elaborate to be good - and never really came close to effectively conveying anything. You seem to want to add weight and significance to events ...
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