Yes, I did get a chuckle, but I feel "demand" and "The Band" didn't rhyme too well.

This is excellent as a first draft. I especially like the interplay of "Yes/No" and "We Love" at the end. It blends beautifully with the lover's aspirations to be close to his beloved.

The imagery is appealing. However, I feel a the "musicality" is missing in this poem. It doesn't seem to rhyme that well. Words like beads/stalks, brown/harmony isn't going well together. However, words like pear/summer, green/dream, sounds all right. May be a little more work will help the poem to reach it's true potential.

It made me feel nostalgic of my times in US, so I would say it did evoke the right emotions. I liked the rhyming in whine/mine, but the rhyming is somewhat missing in the third and fourth stanza. The fourth is somewhat better with iron/chrome, but the last line in the third para seems too long and somewhat breaks the rhythm.

It is a sad poem and it seems to evoke the right emotions as expected by the writer. I think the essence of the poem is beautifully portrayed in the lines "And hope to leave a mark" and "For they know they cannot remain".

Every reviewer uses a point of reference to "judge" poems. It is no different for me, however, for this piece I will hold my judgment and simply say the last line "Poetic like a baby. Outcome is always shit." may not be true. This is a kind of poem that has the potential to help people introspect on their own imperfections. All of us are not perfect in anything and it is only our "ego" that helps us to create the delusion of perfection.

It's a good thought. However, it seems that the last line is a question rather than a statement. If it's a statement then it's too esoteric to carry any real meaning. God's eye can be a metaphor at the most. So what is God's eye for you?

Beauty in simplicity ... the same applies for the quote.

As I read this line "Yet withdrawal has collected his memories", something in me said "Wow!" I think that's how it should be for every form of art. Well done.