Hello there! Alright, I'll start by confessing that I couldn't relate to your material, since I love children - though I'm in no rush to have a batch of my own. Oh, you truly were crude, even cruel! You may reserve the right to treat your child that way, but I would say - on behalf of humanity - please, don't. Anyway, looking at your piece stylistically, I liked it. You have a very distinct style and use of punctuation, which fits with the sort of clipped and direct words of the text. I also ...

Hello there for a second time! Of course, when I had reviewed the second part of your blog, the first part decided to pop up. See, I felt compelled to check it out. Alright, so, wow, negative tude there, sister; but I can somewhat see where you're coming from. Well, this first part follows suit (though, I guess it rather sewed it and all the other parts has to wear it, eh?). I still like that you're to the point and that there's no bull-shitting, but you state your mind and that's that. I adm...

Hi there! I thought that you summed up your feelings about Hollywood - as well as Colin - in a nice way. I agree with you completely, money rules the world, and Hollywood is where cash seem to go to die. Or live it up, I'm undecided. I mean, it's sickening, in a way. And the bloody paparazzi! Anyways, I enjoyed your poem. I'm not a huge Colin fan, though I've enjoyed some of his work. However, as a huge movie lover, I totally get what you're talking about with the mass-production of scripts. ...

Hello there! I liked your title, it was what drew me in to read your story, and that's a very good start! I would suggest you changed it to "The True Version of Little Red Riding Hood", though, just to make it tie in even more with what the text is actually about. I really liked the idea of having the wolf's little brother be a witness to what actually happened! However, your text is a little confused and I feel it needs heavy editing. Punctuation can be a bitch, but it's necessary to grasp t...

Hello there! I really liked your poem. It was terribly sweet and Cocoa is such a great name for a bear! I thought you'd done well in most of your rhyming scheme, though a few missed words and possible sloppiness made for a bit of a jolted read in parts. I know how easy it is when you're revising your own stuff, you sort of go blind to it, but I think it's always better to leave it alone for a day and then go back and read through it again, just to make sure it's in tip-top shape before you po...

Hello there! Oh, wow, humor is the trickiest thing you could ever try to write. I mean, it's the finest balance of all. It's making sure you're clear enough so that the cue for the reader/audience to laugh shines through, and yet vague enough for the reader/audience to feel like they're in on the joke. That little click in their brain when they "get it" is an important part of the process, or so I believe. Well, definite points for effort with this. It had some shining moments. I liked: "Dang...

Hi there, I love Tess - and it's not just because you asked me to write that, I really do think she makes up an interesting character. I think that the premise is engaging, that you have a nice group of individuals that will work well together and play off each other in a realistic way. I loved the humor of the introductory scenes with Marcus being sick and tired of all these strange women - I also loved the irony of him falling so completely for the nuttiest one of all. You had some great di...

Hi there - let me begin by saying that I think you're very talented and that you've managed to create a world that I wouldn't mind exploring further. I think you're characters and their abilities are very intriguing and you've built your dialogue in a very nice, fluent way. You also have some awesome visuals in there, it seems like a compelling world to be in. I love science fiction, and especially that which ties back to old fables, legends or history - and you've done it in a very nice way....

Hi there! I loved this piece! At first I wasn't too sure about spelling out the southern accent, but since you didn't do it through the whole text, but mostly simply used the sentence structures to give it the right feel, it stopped bothering me and I got into the text with ease. I liked the narrating voice, it worked well with someone observing the spectacle. I loved the mom's behavior just going completely against what the Christian faith is all about - or should be all about, anyway. And l...

Hi there! I like the name Baby Doll Killer - inventive, a little haunting, and yet with a touch of humor to it. Sounds like someone whacking people up in Silicon Valley. ;) I thought your narrative flowed well enough, but there were a few places where a spell check, and especially a punctuation check, would breath even more life into the text. "I looked at him like he was an idiot then told him it felt good" - I would make it: "I looked at him like he was an idiot, then told him it felt good....