antiflimflammatory's profile

antiflimflammatory avatar
AGE: 38
LOC: Vancouver, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 22

I am a man of broad appetites, a cheerful vulgarian, a mish-mash of ill-considered opinions and (rarely) insights. I suffer bouts of deep insecurity. Every time I thought I was wise I showed myself to be foolish.I make no claim to expertise of any kind, which is to say I am in all things an amateur. I use the word in its original sense: one who practices an art out of love rather than as a means for monetary gain.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
6 Reviews   3 Comments
She loved her days in school She loved the daily rhyme of measured time And all the pointless rules The weekend peeled away just like an orange rind And left those juicy jewels Of her days in school. She took a job. It was the thing to do when you were 22 To keep your spirits up She had the folks to please and such a jones to prove She hadn't screwed it up. She had no time to stop To think she might have turned her back On the force that through the green fuse drives the flower That saucy pow...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Tattoo
Version 1
18 Reviews   0 Comments
I’ll choose a tattoo that won’t embarrass me in thirty years or three months: for God’s sake not my wife’s name— I’ll look quite the fool at my autopsy after Rosalba finally cuts me with the Ginzu steak knife or pushes me down the escalator at the food court. No cheap religious sentiments either, inked on like a bumper sticker for a Christian radio station— eg, if you’re living like there’s no hell, you’d better be right, like the elegance of Pascal’s wager rendered into a spiritual McNugget....
Ratings & Rankings
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Reviews
Poetry / Finus
Have you shown this to your friend? I hope he likes it! I would have enjoyed something a little more imagistic--that is, with a little more "show, don't tell"--but one of the nicest things you can do for a friend is write a poem for him. Watch your spelling on "humerous." Thanks for letting me read this!
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
You are a very talented writer! You have some very muscular sentences here, and although I didn't agree with all of your choices of imagery (some of them struck me as forced or self-indulgent), you clearly have a knack for metaphorical language that I think will pay off later. Your pacing seemed a bit haphazard in this piece--some plot points that shouldn't move quickly (like the decision to meet Mischa, for instance) had a rushed and somewhat underwritten quality. It would be nice to see you...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / On Marriage
Locked
I think this piece really strikes a nice balance between distance and intimacy, or the weird illusion of intimacy that actors strive for in the theater or that strippers use with their audience. Something very intimate is happening in front of people who are basically strangers, yet the intimacy is false: the participants never end up bridging the true distance between themselves. The second to last stanza strikes me as a little weaker than the rest of the piece--it seems vague and abstract w...
Young Adult / I Want You
Damn--this is hot! But young adult? Are you trying to corrupt the adolescent readership here? The only thing I missed here was what the narrator was doing with herself--or what the man was doing to her--as she was sucking him. The ending didn't seem quite edgy enough, either; it would be hot to have some sense of much harder action to come.
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