Intriguing indeed! And well written! Do continue this tale. Why is the village empty? Does the old man carry a deadly contagious disease? Does the village fall into mistrust of each other? Does the old man go from village to village, wiping them out one by one? Or is the old man some sort of detective who'll investigate the disappearance of the villagers? I yearn to know these delightful secrets. I love the ignorance of the villagers, the cynicism of the old man. The dialogue is brilliant. Ri...

'As his gaze turned toward the narrow window he sighted...', 'spotted' or 'saw' seems like a better word for it. 'Sighted' sounds a little odd. Maybe it's just me. 'To occupy his time he checked and cleaned his revolver and checked his pocket watch.', two checks sounds repetitive. Seems like an incomplete sentence. I was wondering why he was checking his pocket watch. 'Survival out here on the ice plains depended on two things, lady luck...', use a colon instead of a comma. 'The pistol he had...

I’m taking you to the late 20th Century Wild West. Wild, wild bearded west where we buck tides instead of stallions and wrangle salmon, not steak. That was my favourite part. And I was expecting fishermen riding seahorses into the ocean sunset, or something. Fishermen vs mermaids... poker at the docks... harpoon showdowns at dawn... 'delivered our Pony Express station, KVOK' I liked that bit too. 'Picture this:' Could do without this. Still, I think it's well written. Maybe could have more wi...

very nice.. wolf-like... werewolf-like... i just don't get 'love for romance' this bit...

Saved you from pain, and truth, and dreams, things that make us suffer things that cause us all to take a gun and freak. 'things that make us suffer' could be on a new line. 'now your fast asleep' 'your' should be 'you're'. 'There’s a time for a madness' I would take out the second 'a'. 'Not that it matter’s anymore' 'matters' shouldn't have an apostrophe. 'Somebody’s gonna think that a body went to sleep' I'd change it to 'Someone's..' or 'Someone'll think..' 'they’ll wonder if it was pain, ...

I like it. A talking baby read it in my mind. I feel the last one or two lines could be better, sounds a little odd.

proofreading: 'Our tired bodies do there best', there/their 'Thoughts be simple give us rest' I'd put a comma between simple and give. 'Alter landscapes, scout the deep space' I'd take out 'the'. quite interesting.. the master commander's the mind, thoughts? well done!

It is good to be here, at the “Beginning”. I think 'beginning' shouldn't need quotation marks. 'fruit', 'coral sea' and 'brow' don't need to be on a new line. Was it intentional? I like it metaphorically and literally. I like the imagery... a serpent breaks the surface of the pool... red juice lava flows down an ivory hillside... wild animals howl from somewhere in the distance.

I like it. I like the rhythm and the repetition. proofreading: 'My soul; It fails to become grand To sing my heart back to note; My passion eludes me; now still my dream.' I would replace the semicolons with commas. 'And a souls second.. Where others passions' 'Souls' and 'others' should have apostrophes. Possessive nouns.

I enjoyed the Last Tanga in Paris up until "..devours her from the inside." Perhaps instead something like: Tra'al, bemused by the sudden venture into fatherhood, sighs. "It's a boy," he announces to himself. I love "Alien babies are hot.." Perhaps "At morning's light" instead of "By" Drabble two is awesome too. Again, I didn't like the last line. Maybe leave it at "..was leaving." The thank you letter, I didn't like as much. I liked "huge, glowing orb up my ass..", but in the end it sounded ...