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AGE:
28
LOC: New Castle, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 23
LOC: New Castle, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 23
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. My goal always was to write a book, but I could never finish it. Thanks to Mr. John Viverette I was inspired to write something I could finish.
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Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
CHAPTER ONE Dark clouds loomed over the morning sky, not unlike the ones that loomed over Grant Mitchell’s heart on this particular Friday. Most of the other mourners had already paid their condolences and left to carry on with their day. The normally outgoing businessman was almost glad they had gone. He had but a few precious moments left with what remained of his wife. There hadn’t been much of her left the past eight months or so even though she was living and breathing. Cancer. When the ...
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Reviews
Hey I think this is really good. It actually does make me want to read more. I'm guessing you're probably younger than your writing would suggest. I mean that as a compliment. You write well and you definitely can work on some things. You're very good at being descriptive, but I think you can sharpen that up a bit too. Use different words maybe. I like it though.
You're only 15? Wow. I'd say you know a lot more about love and feelings than most your age. You're an excellent writer and very descriptive. At the length you have written it I don't know how it would work as a song. I write a lot of songs myself and you have to keep them within a certain perameter or they don't work as well. This is definitely a great poem though. I like it a lot. I think whoever it is about should consider themselves lucky to have something so deep written about them. That...
Well, I must say that I love similar work - JRR Tolkien in particular and I'm sure either you would be honored to be compared to him or not dig the comparison. I think this is unbelieveable and the imagery is great which I always like to think it the first thing you want to have in a story especially a fantasy story. Us fantasy novel lovers require certain things and I feel that your story encompasses those things.
I think that the best part of your story is that it is so twisted it is almost comical and you rejoice in the end with exhuberance. Verna is like a heroine and even though you do not know her family intimately you feel just in her actions. I think someone could make a great movie out of it actually. Very entertaining. Job well done.
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. It was entertaining - even for an adult and I think it is even better when you have something that will entertain parents and children alike! If you're doing this as a series I think it is very publishable. I know that isn't listed as one of your "goals" but I think if you happened to shop it around you would have success.
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