arielspd's profile
AGE:
59
LOC: Everett, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 08
LOC: Everett, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 08
Simplified, life is nothing more than making choises. How good we become at making choises that please us and those around us depends on how focused and committed we are to making the best possible choise for the situation before us.
My poetry reflects my attitude towards the simple things in life. I choose to try bringing an uplifting atmosphere to the reader…..you be the judge.
Items
Version 2
4 Reviews
2 Comments
The patter of rain On fallen leaves Reminder winter draws nigh. Burning wood fragrance Entwined with the flames Ballet before our eyes. In warmth we nestle No words spoken Our bodies echo our thoughts. The year’s labor ending Ushers love’s occasion All while the floral sleeps.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews
14 Comments
Patter of rain on fallen leaves Reminder winter draws nigh. Burning wood fragrance Entwined with the flames Ballet before our eyes. In warmth we snuggle No dictum spoken Our bodies echo our thoughts. The year’s labor ending Ushers love’s occasion All while the floral sleeps.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
This tree bared its blood. From our blade We carved our love. Immortalized, Everlasting, without end Without end for all to see. Seasons shall pass us by. Our souls will transcend. Eternity will be our home. Immortalized, Everlasting, without end. Before God we will carve it again,
Ratings & Rankings
Version 5
2 Reviews
5 Comments
The outstretched hand Pierced internet lines Leading me up Through untried paths Executing direction With typewritten lines My artistic foundation shattered. Fortified with creative sight Overwhelmed by possibilities I still knew Yes I knew I could struggle through it.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 4
4 Reviews
11 Comments
The outstretched hand Pierced internet lines Leading me up Through untried paths Executing direction In type written script My artistic foundation Had been shattered. Being fortified With creative light but overwhelmed by possibilities I still knew Yes Somehow I knew I could struggle through it.
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Reviews
While reading this you got me laughing several times. We all know people that are so far beyond burn out and we have a tendency to avoid them if we can.I'm taking the following as a typo:"Exhaust of you Feeble Intelligence." probably should read:"Exhaust of your Feeble Intelligence." You set up a character with vivid imagery for us to see. You expressed dislike or anoyance phrases with flawless passion to utterly distroy the intended person. Phrases such as: "Spare me from the Ridiculous, Abs...
I really enjoyed this one...nice work. One question, in the line "that been gone" should "that" be "that's or that is"? The opener is fantastic "his words are like tiny fingers touching me inside out " very pictorial.
Sad story, simplistic, none of which is a terrable thing. Your poem was interesting and to the point and written with emotion.In the line "Is it that hard to see your on baby?" Is the word "on" a typo for own? Thank you for sharing.
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