arualsuga's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 18
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 18
I am a writer
an amateur at best
but here i pen my thoughts
to be lost amidst
the sandpit of cyberspace
maybe you will read
maybe you won’t
but at least this way
i will never forget
the thoughts that i have thunk
Items
Version 4
1 Review
1 Comment
Simple soldiers marching to war They throw their bodies as weapons Down against our homes We yield no pain Front by front they hurl themselves on Smashed, shredded, slaughtered The carcasses flow into a river of death Strewn by the roadside A septic puddle of loss Our cold eyes glare on remorselessly We ignore the warriors lain to waste Churn them into mist in our tracks So that on this stormy night The air is thick with death
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Chapter Two Voco Anihilo Morrus Cruroranhel held onto the splintering rung tightly with one hand as he caught his breath, his taught muscles barely visible beneath the layers that had come with middle age. He hooked his elbow around the rung, passed his torch from one hand to the other and lifted his un-hooked arm to wipe the sweat off of his brow. He had not climbed this ladder in a long time and he didn’t remember it being so tall. Holding the flaming torch in his left hand he pulled himsel...
Version 3
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Simple soldiers marching to war They throw their bodies as weapons Down against our homes We yield no pain Front by front they hurl themselves on Smashed and torn and shredded The carcasses melt into a sea of death Strewn by the roadside A septic puddle of loss As our glaring eyes look on remorselessly And we ignore the battlers lain to waste Churn them into mist in our tracks So that on this stormy night The air is thick with death
Version 6
1 Review
1 Comment
Chapter One Expectations always ran low for Everto, his parents had pushed his eldest brother, Malum, to attend a medical college and it was assumed that his second eldest brother, Torqueo, would inherit the family business; a large and profitable coal mine that extended deep into the mountain range on the eastern border where Lyrrea met Azhendor. Nothing was planned for Everto, he was left to his own devices and when he, on the rare occasions that he did, spoke to his parents or his brothers...
Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Simple soldiers marching to war They throw themselves as weapons Down against our homes We yield no pain Front by front they hurl themselves on beaded limbs fly senselessly Slaughtered, wounded and shamed the sky is awash with blood the ground is awash with bodies Strewn by the roadside A septic puddle of loss As our glaring eyes look on remorselessly And we ignore the battlers lain to waste Churn them into mist in our tracks So that on this stormy night The air is thick with death
[ View all items ]
Reviews
No. I wouldn't. Doesn't this guy have any morals? Does he realize that it's going to hurt her, traumatise her. Doesn't he think about that at all? This story is SO creepy, it's even creepier because in some parts I can relate to the guy and even agree with him. The writing style shows you have a lot of skill - most writing in present tense is difficult to read - but this was really smooth. I gave you a 10 for short story because it really is THAT good, even if it's incredibly creepy. And a 5 ...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I really liked this piece, the rhyme structure makes it simpler to read and also a lot more complex than most of the poetry on here. There are two parts I didn't like: 'then he did eat.' In the rest of this poem this style helps it along but in this one part it makes it seem clunky and unnatural. ground! I don't understand why there is an exclamation mark there, I tried to read it with emphasis and it just sounded... dumb. Also, i don't think having an emphasis there really suits the topic. S...
Sometimes I am weak; sometimes circumstances seem bleak. Many say I will not succeed; praying I fold. I think you should expand the last line of the second couplet because it seems kind of blunt how it is. Your poem really demonstrates life. I'm glad it ends on a happy note as so many life poems get quite nihilistic. I like the random rhyme sequence you have there, it makes me think of coincidences and things accidentally working out. I also like how you don't seem to stick to a definitive rh...
I think this poem portrays a deep feeling of passion, but I think you could add more of a nervous side, maybe add another stanza at the beginning to ease the reader into the poem. If you portrayed a nervous feeling just at the beginning and eased in a feeling of safety it would make the poem easier to relate to(for me anyway). I like that this poem isn't sad, there are too many sad love poems. Good Work -Laura
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People

















