I like this, especially the musical imagery (blame it on going to music school), but I feel like there's so much more you could do with it. Perhaps experiment with formatting the text? Italics, bolds, strikeouts, and even strange spacing could do wonders in giving this poem a stronger notion of rhythm and pulse and even melody than it already has. That said, I do really like what you have here -- I just think that it's too small and tightly composed for its own good. Bigger isn't always bette...

Although this is simplistic, I could see this poem transferring really well into song lyrics. It reads like it has a fun, catchy beat. :) You might want to look at your capitalization and syntax, but I just wanted to let you know that I had a fun time reading. :)

First of all, I love the use of second person. It's a hard voice to use and you use it masterfully. Bravo. :) Also, I love the natural imagery, which gives your topic so much power. I can see a scene in front of me, dissolving and then re-forming into the next image you describe. The one thing I'm curious about is that it seems as though your phrase "If the world gives you any value, you are fortunate" is contradicted by the line just below it: "There must be a sacrifice, the blood spilt on t...

I like this poem! It's short, sweet, and sassy. It knows where it's going, and it doesn't mince words. The one thing I'd look at is the rhythm; it seems at times to become almost overly repetitive and perhaps lenghthening some lines (or combining two lines into one) would make the poem a little more interesting looking. But I really enjoyed reading! Thanks for writing!

I love all the layers of meaning in this -- I have no idea how you manage to cram so much allegory into three lines, but it's honestly amazingly wonderful. Thank you so much for writing it! I really enjoyed reading. :)

I love this -- for one thing, the constellation conversation? Was adorable. I love the impulsivity of the piece, but I have to question the connection to the ending line, which seems strangely pensieve. Maybe tie it into the piece a little more? It jarred me out of the half-giggle that took over my face while I was reading. Aside from that, though, this is a winner. :)

I like the rhythm of this, but I have a few concerns: 1) "still whispers" sounds like a contradiction in terms. Do you want to imply softness, or lack of movement? The latter seems a little at odds with your point. 2) Ending with "for more" seems grammatically incorrect. Maybe just leave out the "for"? Ending with a one-word line is nice and packs a punch. Sorry to start off with the things I would change. I really love the images, especially "soft, round flavors". I look forward to reading m...

I'm from Chicago, so you have to understand that I'm really super biased when I say that I love this. The imagery is gorgeous and makes me miss my favorite city in the world even more than I already do. A few suggestions: -- When you have the Polish for hello and goodbye, I would suggest using italics instead of quotation marks. The quotation marks disrupted the flow of the piece a little. -- Also, I'm not quite sure I understand this sentence: "The only new thing in this city of never changi...

I like the use of prefixes in the poem - just make sure your rhymes aren't too conventional! The title is really cute. I look forward to reading more of your poetry. :)

This is sweet. Maybe a little cliche (watch out for rose colored glasses!), but it put a smile on my face. I really enjoyed reading!