badness's profile
AGE:
41
LOC: Fontana, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 10
LOC: Fontana, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 10
Frustrated lyricist needs to have marionette control over successful industrial rock band to put all of my lyrics to music since I don’t know how to play an instrument or produce an album myself. If you have mind control over such a group of rockers and are willing to dance to my every whim please let me know. Thank you.
Items
Version 1
42 Reviews
30 Comments
By each breath we take By each step we make Such is the measure of a man. By each word we speak By our mercy for the weak Such is the strength of a hand. By the path we choose Times sands we lose Unless we could understand; Each fine grain Whether joy whether pain Once fallen never stands.
Version 3
0 Reviews
0 Comments
from Goodness down to Sin every Lie i fall in i hear your name with your smile my ribs were broken though not a word was spoken from beginning to the end my broken bones won't seem to mend its all the same (change to harder/aggressive lvl 2) with your laughter at my pain the world burst in to flames now I’m burning in the sun from all the things that you’ve done where is your shame (chorus) from goodness down to sin and every lie I fall in I hear your name (change to harder/aggressive lvl 3) ...
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
from goodness down to sin every lie i fall in i hear your name beginning to the end my broken bones don't seem to mend it's all the same (changes to harder/aggressive stage lvl 2) now I'm burning in the sun from all the things you've done where is your shame (chorus) from goodness down to sin and every lie I fall in I hear your name (changes to harder/aggressive stage lvl 3) my will is but a token though the soul cannot be broken where is the end this load I cannot bear no one seems to really...
Version 1
9 Reviews
9 Comments
frozen Mistress sighs crystal tears shimmer in moonlight Winters wrath in the mountains
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Reviews
Well I haven't given a negative review yet but I'm afraid I don't like this. It comes across as an exercise in using a thesaurus to find the wackiest words possible while clinging to a thin thread of a theme. Who is nauseated by a mothers kisses? The child receiving them or outsiders looking on? I can't think of any time as a child I was nauseated by my mothers love and attention unless you meant by candied kisses that the mother is faking her emotions? It think the piece is to vague over all...
I had to review this after reading the first review that basically shot you down. It is a strong stance and admirable, this piece comes across as stoic and brings many images to mind. From a religious perspective some people could arrange a disagreement but your writing still stands and has merit. Without the work and effort implied by your choice of sculpting, there would be no help and guidance along that pathway, from Deity, for someone giving up and making no effort. Bravo, somehow your s...
Nice! I like seeing someone do their own thing with Haiku. The english language can't compare to how haiku is supposed to be done so I say go for it. Write some more, good job :)
LOL! That was great, I had no idea you would pull something current, a hot topic if you will, in to your Lym. I got a good chuckle out of it! (8)
this is OK, i feel your pain with the review issue. I'm not sure about the fall to the ground part. The horrible sound fits with the rest of the piece but how does falling to the ground relate to the review(3) lead in? Maybe if you said something like "I look around" then you would make the horrible sound of the reviews we have a gun pointed at our heads to write. I think it would be pretty good with a similar change on that ground line. Good luck!
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