To me, work that falls under "criticism" is LITERARY in scope, but this is certainly a critical piece of writing, so I guess that I'm just being nit-picky. I can certainly identify with the frustration you express in this piece. I also hate stupid people, and they do seem to be EVERYWHERE. There are couple of things I would like to point out, however. First, if you're writing a piece lambasting the morons of the world, it would be wise to avoid any grammar or spelling errors that might lead a...

Your first two stanzas are tight in terms of meter and rhyme. Couplets may not be the most creative use of rhyme, but you do handle them well. The verses flow nicely, and because you have chosen couplets, they read almost like a macabre and gritty nursery rhyme. The third stanza falls apart, however, which is unfortunate, since it would be really nice to see this end on a good, hard punch. In particular, the second line is unwieldy, and it makes the rhythms in the lines that follow it sound o...

To be honest, I have no idea what you're talking about. I lack the frame of reference, on the one hand, and on the other, I don't understand what the aim of this piece of writing is. Is it about a song being banned? Is it about the plight of aborigines in Australia? Is it about the incompetence of government in America? Since the writing is opinionated and it is journalism, it must be an editorial. However, I cannot discern what the topic of this editorial is. For me, a successful editorial i...

This has a raw, stream of consciousness feel to it. There's a lot of energy to the piece, a lot of rapid movement and flow. However, to me it also feels like an unpolished exercise that could use a bit of cleaning up and fine tuning. I think the poem could benefit from taking a look at the line breaks and punctuation (particularly all those dashes and semi-colons) and thinking about the rhythms that you are creating in each line. Right now, with the long, rambling lines juxtaposed with single...

I'm a little confused about the structure. Did you intend this to be a prose poem, or are the commas meant to stand in for conventional line breaks? It's not BAD, but I do find the approach unusual and thus a little distracting. There are so few full stops, as well, and so many alliterative phrases, that the whole piece kind of blurs together for me. I find myself getting lost in the words, and more specifically, in the sounds of the words. On the other hand, I do like the way the poem rocket...

I enjoyed reading this poem. The rhythms are strong and driving without actually conforming to any specific meter that I can recognize. These powerful rhythms combined with the device of repetition (as in, "stole their names, their blood, their God/stole their language, stole their culture") make the poem feel almost like a chant, or perhaps an invocation. The simple diction is appropriate to the subject matter. I do feel that the beginning of the piece lacks some of the power that builds up ...

This is an ad, unless it's a poem cleverly crafted to look like an ad. It's a fine ad that gets its point across (although it does not make me want to buy the book). Part of the reason that the ad fails to motivate me to buy anything is, well, it's on here at urbis, which is, in my opinion, totally inappropriate. If you had posted an excerpt from the book instead, that would merit an actual review from me.

A very sweet and very honest piece. The twist on the classic "leaving before she wakes up" ending to a one-night-stand is funny and vivid. The whole situation with shelves and tables breaking is almost farcical, and I love the line about the "albino tortilla." What tasty filling, eh? And of course, the ending made me smile. I was ready to really hate this guy for sneaking out (it's a cowardly thing to do, after all), and then it turns out that not only are they falling in love, but they're be...

I'm also trying to write noir pastiche right now, and it's a fun genre to write in. I think you've done a pretty good job of capturing many elements of the genre: the dirt of the city, the cigarette-smoking maverick narrator. A couple of things that you might want to work in, as well, though: noir fiction is rich in metaphor and hyperbole. It's not just hot outside, it's hotter than an egg frying on the devil's backside. The woman's voice isn't just loud and shrill, it's as abrasive as a Bril...

This is quite a feat. Not only have you kept up the alliteration throughout this piece, but you've also managed to preserve its sense: this isn't just a string of nonsense beginning with "b," it's a complete poem. I realize you are writing in substitutions and not pure iambs, but there are a few places in the writing that just don't sound quite right to me. The one that sticks out in particular is "Bra bursts; bronze breasts bounce" because all those single syllable words are stressed, so you...