I feel this one deeply. It is very well written, and great descriptors..

I feel for the person asleep next to the narrator. It is very well written. i think i know where the narrator is headed...

overall writing wise, you did a good job. the story over all is simple and clarity is excellent. at parts your use of imagery is great...such as, "The voices sound so low, so quiet, and yet so enormous- like a uncountable number of whispers." be careful though sometime you tend to describe things little to much... "Quite suddenly, when the chanting reaches its hottest, highest, and most intense point, it stops." overall, i enjoyed reading it, hope to read more of it...

Not bad. It felt very bitter and regretful, however it doesn't take anything away from the poem. Some parts seemed staggered, as if you stopped several times, but from top to bottom it is full of emotion. I liked it.

very simple style yet articulate. you are able to take the reader to the painful world of longing for or wanting a loved one . very well written & fluent. although it can be a little wordy at times but good poem overall...

not bad, this is a very good start...the only part i really didn't like was when charlie says... “Jason,” Charlie’s sobbing now. “I want to live, give him the coins.” it just didn't feel right to me. however i don't know what to tell u to make it better. let me think on it and i'll get back to you... Overall i found the story to be very descriptive,well written & fluent. a good short story overall...

very well written & fluent. this is a nice and simple poem...i like it...

First of all the narration did this piece justice by keeping things simple and explaining (but not too much). i also like how u brought in opposition views and countered their arguments. just couple of things... "Media provides us with entertainment, shoves a beer label down our throats for a paycheck while the government stands by," government tried to ban alcohol back in the 1920's but it back fired on them... however the only thing that is wrong with your argument is most people who drink ...

the reader feels the pain in this piece. you are able to take the reader to this dark world or tragic loss. very descriptive, well written & fluent. overall a good poem you use imagery is good. the only bad thing about the poem is that its very simple...