billyblueboy's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: Texarkana, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 13
LOC: Texarkana, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 13
Hey, my name is Billy and I live in Texas. It’s been awhile since I was on here, and I have some great news to share. I’ve gotten three books published! Two novels and a collection of short stories. Pretty cool, huh? I thought the day would never come. Anybody that’s interested can check out my publishing company’s website; they might be able to work with you too. It’s www.jeremiahpress.org
Anyway, I mostly like to write short stories and poetry when I can. Time always seems to get in the way and keep me from doing it, but I try.
The poetry I like best is rather classical in form, but not quite. I don’t usually write sonnets or other historical forms like that, but I’m very demanding that once I do select a particular…
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Version 1
6 Reviews
3 Comments
Chapter One I didn't know anything special was going on when Nana Maralyn asked me to go walking with her in the orchard that day. It was late one evening after supper was over, and we walked on tiptoes so we could listen to the crickets. Nana always used to tell me they were like people, and sang their prettiest songs whenever they were saddest, when they knew that winter was coming. She used to say stuff like that all the time. It was late October in East Tennessee, so I guess they didn't ...
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Being a lover of Christian fantasy as I am, this was beautiful to read. The writing is excellent, and you have a talent for capturing beauty with your words which is rare to find. I do have a few suggestions, though. Your large vocabulary is going to be a stumblingblock for some readers. Words like "simulacra", "avarian", and so forth might be better replaced with simpler words. Also, the way you combined Celtic mythology with Christian themes seemed inconsistent at times. You might consider ...
Your writing is top-notch, excellent in every way. You set up an interesting situation that made me curious, and you kept the action going very well. The one thing that puzzled me just a little bit was why so MUCH old money would still be lying around after 400 years. If it were of no value to anybody, then the vast majority of it would have decayed or been thrown out or otherwise destroyed after that many years, unless there was a special reason why it hadn't. I can understand a certain amou...
I liked the story very much, and I think you did an excellent job of writing. There were a few minor tidbits I'll mention, though. The part where Catherine identified the stranger as having an American accent I might not have noticed, but when she further pinpointed it as New York, that seemed a bit much. If she lives in Ireland, how would she know that? Also, the story contains a lot of dialog during which nothing much happens. That runs the risk of losing a reader's attention after a while....
I have few criticisms. I think "do not" would work better as "don't" in the first line; there are a few other bits and pieces like that. The subject matter is worn almost to pieces from over-use, and that's the greatest problem this poem suffers from. The writing is good, but with this particular topic it requires something truly amazing to get noticed at all.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
The thing I liked best about this story was that it seemed very true to life. The characters were believable and their feelings seemed real. Although you said you didn't like the ending, I did. I thought it was exactly the right note on which to end the story. I wouldn't change it at all. The only real criticism about the story that I have is that the events seemed too ordinary, not worthy of spending so much time and effort on. I was left wondering why you were interested or if there was mor...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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