bjohnny's profile

i like the couple of opening lines as i am a cynic on what we hold as truth as i think the world is . your poem is well paced ,by my standards anyway.it beats along rather than tick tocking which can be annoying.i would have gone with dreams are steam that fog the mind, as i rarely find clarity in dreams ,at least it is good to know someone has that ability.overall your poem got me to the end of it which is a rare occurance with me and poetry.if i was to give advice iw ould say drill yourself...

as an australian i am hardly well versed on country music and i have this silly tune running through my head as i read it , l love the humour and the whole situation presented leaves you with a smile on your face . this is a real summertime lyric and i cant see any reason why accompanied with a good tune it would not appeal to a mass market .

the first part of this holds with it intrigue which provokes a re read . i like it and am confused to who is she and who is he and whether this may be some tangled threesome . however it explodes around the dorian grey part and this area sounds pretentious especially wen the end of the lyric turns to a ditty form . i know you have a talent greater than mine and may scoff at my lack of understanding it is just for me something disappointing in its initial potential . hey but opinions are hardl...

i am at loss here . i struggle with poetry weighted in nature although i will look for allegory or metaphor as it pertains to human existence . i would be best served reviewing this in parts as in a whole i found it a little to large and complex . this type of poetry reminds me of what daniel day lewis character would be seen reciting in the background as a snobby game of tennis is being played re- A Room With A View ( that brilliantly pretentious british film) . your talent , and i would not...

poetry is not normally my go but i like this . i guess all artists aim for perception whether it is the one they have created or the one created via the reader . to me this struck a chord with me i understood it as loving someone and participating in it even though you know it will do you harm . i love " that flicker in your eyes , being forced by sleepless dreams through blackened doorways(sic) . i feel this , i feel your emotion and it is mirrored by so many but rarely put so eloquently.