blackrosemage's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 28
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 28
My writing revolves around fantasy, but I hold no limitations as to what I may write. My heart, mind, and soul team up together and decide what is to be expressed on paper. I will leave it in one’s judgment whether or not it is decent, but I would appreciate any feedback. I indite because my friends and family have confidence in me which has summoned forth my own. They say it’s not a matter of “if” but a matter of “when”. I hope that I can have some sort of effect on some of you or vice versa. Maybe, one day my works will deserve merit and publication. I may eventually post my novel ideas/chapters on here, but as of now, I feel uncomfortable with that idea.
Items
Version 4
5 Reviews
6 Comments
Truth Mysterious justice twisted and concealed, Breaking through the inner self Blinded by fate, often rejected to avoid chaos Who sometimes experiences warmth, dwindling among the darkness, Relief when told after the unleashing from the twisted knot felt within A buried chest of secrets in the sands of one’s heart Concealed in the inner depths to prevent harm to one's it loves Truth accomplishes trust, loyalty, and overcomes the serpents that glare upon the innocent Truth n...
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Reviews
Overall it is good with rhyming. I understand what you are doing, I just didn't know about the doctor thing. But all in all, written well.
The only thing I can say is wow. The sad thing is it is true. So far at least...Good rhyming and flow throughout.
Overall this is a great piece. I question whether you are addressing the world as a whole or just that person at times or both? I like how you or it appears you address readers with "Never seen it like that?" It brings emphasis and made me to continue reading. It is like you were trying to look into all minds. I don't know what you want readers to see but I see it as we all try to strive to have the best when in general the small gifts that we have or that people give to us are the better gif...
Overall, I really like the emotion and meaning within this song. Or the meaning I pick up. I hope and wish you the best luck with it. Suggestions: >For some reason I don't like this line, flow wise or something "You threw a lifeline, fought with all you might." I think it is the lifeline part I don't fancy. The flow in the beginning of the sentence seems odd. Also, I would like to see the strong imagery you used at beginning of the particular stanza. This is just a suggestion. Thanks. Rati...
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