AGE:
31
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 11
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 11
For as long as I can remember I have been writing. Mostly for myself, I have a house full of many journals with poetry, quotes, lyrics and any other tid bit you can imagine. A friend of mine has convinced me to continue writing. I will give you an honest and truthful review and would hope in return to receive the same from you.
Blessed Be
Rachel
Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
Forever for you My Wife Been such a long time, since I picked up a pen Sat down and reflected upon emotions I’ve held within With a new outlook my first goal was obtained The next was to focus upon releasing those demons And to farewell them once & for all A promise to never look back at that road from here Just blockade it, it’s now permanently closed With a big filthy sign up “Here History Lies” And its cheeky graffiti scrawled out beneath “Onwards & Upwards – Soar as an eagle & fly” My les...
Version 2
15 Reviews
3 Comments
Alzheimer's A single key in my hand, I struggle to remember what does it unlock? Is it the key to your heart? This can’t happen now, I’m unsure, I’ve forgot, Thoughts swirling frantically, I begin to plead with my mind, I’m lost, So aimlessly I wander into the darkest of nights, frightened & anxious Each door I pass is almost so familiar, yet somehow they’re not There’s something that’s missing, my stomach turns and I’m in knots Nothing I see that makes me feel safe, and the tears start to we...
Version 2
8 Reviews
0 Comments
A promise forever cherished Sitting in the darkness in a cold empty room Lit only by two candles casting shadows on the walls The needle drops down and the record rolls on Pink Floyd takes me back to a time long ago ‘Comfortably Numb’ plays and quietly I hum I reach for the bottle, and pour a drink made for two I stare at the photo of my best friend and me With our hippie platted hair and stupid grins from ear to ear A photo taken at least 20 years ago, how time has flown Each and every day w...
Version 1
10 Reviews
1 Comment
Locked inside a box Wondering if I can understand The workings of your mind And how sometimes you can Tap inside of mine When I have been told so many times That I live in my own little box Was certain that I crawled inside And locked it from behind To be sure that no one enters And delves into my mind My thoughts inside the box Are private and protected Secluded and removed from Those who treat you so untrue With empty promises, love & treats Only used to try and sway you So inside my little...
Version 1
15 Reviews
4 Comments
A Forest Playground The angels dance among the fallen trees Toying and playing with their fellow pixies Bouncing off toadstools, into the mud Light shimmers and seems to float all around them Their laughter entwines into a sweet song They entice you to join them “Come, come play along” So you dodge the dragonflies, toads & the goblins Let loose your imagination, delve deep Into what was once buried And go play in their kingdom Revive the childhood you once had Remembering the dreams and games...
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Reviews
I really enjoyed the repetition of I am love, I remain! I felt that the repetition in using that line concretes the whole idea of "remaining" (if that makes sense) to me it felt that by using the line with repetition created a sense of 'staying' through good and bad times. You do have quite a few spelling errors that need rectifying but overall the concept of the piece itself is well written.. You do need to read your poem aloud so that you can figure out the flow as a few of your lines felt ...
The flow of this poetry is really quite beautiful. I hope I do not offend by asking but are you trying to convey the feeling of "the night hours" as your lover?? I believe that is the overall concept but was not sure if i was missing something?? Your descriptions are intriguing - i myself pictured a person (neither male nor female) standing on a beach at night reflecting upon his/her feelings. I love the 3rd line, so emotive. Great work, very pleased.
Hi, I feel as though you may have struggled with the 'need' to rhyme. I don't believe that all poetry as a rule must rhyme. I get the feeling of longing & pain/hurt as a theme within your poem but feel that there are a few lines that struggle with your grammar. "The eternity's length of one month" i did not feel fits in very well... although i understand the content of why it was used it just feels a little mismatched. I think you were to read your poem aloud and determine a rhythm for it - n...
You have put in your ratings and rankings to amuse/entertain etc... I can't exactly say that it amused me... more so that it made me agree with everything that you have written in it. As someone that suffers from depression it made me feel that i could relate so well to every word written. Doctors do not seem to care about the effects of the drugs that they so hand out to sufferers like it is a candy cane that will make you feel better for awhile. Lollies to a child as such! I think that your...
I can feel the sense of anguish, not sure if i am on the correct path but i felt that the storyline was of abuse and the character becoming stronger within themselves and realising that the only way that they can get away is by finding the strength to move on/away from the one attacking them. I could sense a feeling of the character wanting 'justice' and found that it came about in the last 3 lines of the poem. I also got the feeling of a controlling boyfriend???
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