bobbyhope's profile

bobbyhope avatar
AGE: 36
LOC: Highland, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 21

I hold an MFA, in Poetry, from the University of Florida . While at UF I had the privilege of working with Michael Hoffman, and completed his thesis with the guidance of William Logan.  

I have published in a number of national magazines, including Writer’s Journal, A Gathering of Tribes, Revelry, New Collage, and Time of Singing.  In addition, I have placed in a quite a few literary contests for both poetry and fiction.

And I wish I could get some comments on my poetry. Please.

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1. If my partner looks away during lovemaking, I am cuckolded. If my partner refuses my affection in public, I am untouchable. If my partner says harsh words in the heat of conversation, I am mistreated. If my partner is distracted when my body slips out of clothes, I am ugly. If my partner shares conversation with another, I am betrayed. If my partner no longer listens to me breathe in the night, I am alone. If my partner forgets to kiss me in the morning, I am abandoned. If my partner linge...
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Poetry / K.D.H
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My car is cooling in the driveway and clutching pictures of you that I am thinking about, but they are not inside as I eat saltines and listen to the tape on continuous play, they are not inside with me still thinking about you dreaming watermelon dreams while I eat saltines without anything else to fill the space between my hands and mouth.
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Poetry / K.D.H
Version 1
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My car is cooling in the driveway and clutching pictures of you that I am thinking about, but they are not inside as I eat saltines and listen to the tape on continuous play, they are not inside with me still thinking about you dreaming watermelon dreams while I eat saltines without anything else to fill the space between my hands and mouth.
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Poetry / XIX
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XIX Dark-skinned and supple girl, the sun that forms the fruit, that forges the wheat, that weaves the seaweed, shaped your happy body, your bright eyes, and your water-smile mouth. A dark and restless sun curls into the strands of your black hair, whenever you spread your arms. You play with the sun like a tidal river and he leaves two dark pools in your eyes. Dark-skinned and supple girl, nothing draws me toward you. Everything about you pushes me away, like the noontide. You are the deliri...
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Poetry / Spikenard
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Magdelene admitted men into her body because she could not have the man she loved. She saw his face like fever in the night, felt his gaze like the sun when he was not there. She wanted to feel the smoothness of his ribs, trace the lines on his wrists, taste the wine of his flesh. She tricked herself that one body was the same as another, that bread was identical no matter the baker. And in his absence she had known the body of many men, had felt them drool words over her nakedness. She imagi...
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This is cute; not quite a haiku, not quite a micro-story. The only question I have is about the word "addiction."
I wonder what this is about. I wonder if you have struggled too much with the idea of poetry being unfettered by narrative, that you have in fact lost the reader. Also, I might suggest a consistency in punctuation, etc. For example, the loss of parenthesis after "Skinned."
I like some of these images very much. The one about the mother being bragged "like an empty suitcase with broken wheels" is great. However, I'm not sure that I know what is going on through the whole poem. I think the narrative thread, or "meaning" (I hate to sat that), of the poem gets lost in so many images. Perhaps you could cut out the many images, and focus on a few strong ones. Maybe that would help. Also, as a general rule, I try to stay away from the word "soul." It is very over used.
Very good. I have to nit-pick and ask about tense. You start with past-tense (As best as we could) and then use present tense the rest of that stanza. Then, in the second to last and last stanza I am a bit confused about whether this is present or future, or for that matter if we are suddenly in the future looking back at the now as if it was the past? I'm confused.
Haiku/Senryu / Constituional Irony
Removed