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brand_new_kate's profile
AGE:
37
LOC: Atlanta, GA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 10
LOC: Atlanta, GA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 10
I write for a living (writing of a very technical sort), but enjoy writing less formal pieces for pleasure and potential future publication. I also enjoy simply blogging for entertainment. I can be found at MySpace as the_definitive_kate.
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Version 1
30 Reviews
2 Comments
This is by no means an exhaustive list of the inductees into Kate's Bad Date Hall O' Fame. It is merely a small sampling for your reading pleasure. May you never have a date like any of these. The Coke Dealer I had been seeing my date for about a month. He wasn't my boyfriend. That night I noticed he was getting paged a lot. Through dinner. Through the first bar. Through the second bar, where we planned to ring in the new year. (Nice bars. Not shitty dives.) Finally I said, "Wow! That's a lot...
Version 1
48 Reviews
31 Comments
When I was six I knew. Hell, I probably knew long before that. I knew what it meant when my father came home smelling sour and funny. Those nights were becoming more and more common. Those nights my mother looked angry and tired. I knew the bottles on the bar in the dining room. What it meant when they were left open, their sour and bitter smells wafting. I knew what it meant when my father sat slumped in a chair in the corner of the living room, amber liquid-filled glass in his hand, ice cub...
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Reviews
This is phenomenal, and not something that new writers often want to hear, but should. I particularly appreciate the tips section. How true! I see some of my own mistakes in your list. Everybody does write crap. People often forget that for every huge success there was a buildup of small failures. Very nice reminder.
powerful imagery. one thing, near the end you use "it's" rather than "its". small thing, but a pet peeve. I'm not sure I understand the weathering through rainbows, though it sounds poetic enough. Very nice.
I like this very much. However, it reads very fast. Perhaps one could linger over each element more if the writing was slowed down a bit. The imagery is beautiful!
the rhyming here is a bit of a distraction from what you're trying to convey. I also think it feels somewhat cold and detached. is that the feel you're going for?
this is a powerful idea, and I think you can flesh it out more without being overly harsh. it needs more detail. what leaves voids where it should be filled? I understand the value of leaving some things unsaid, but this would be more powerful with more detail, I think.
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