brewdog's profile
AGE:
43
LOC: Syracuse, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 11
LOC: Syracuse, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 11
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Items
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
oh golden woman she of fluid cascading words and images ... Whisper wind thou sand whispered azure skies, as your sighs tell of Tin King tinkling knights and in billowing silky Fables. She sings Psalms to me in the shimmering heat rising from the silk skeins, sheepish grins shrouded in warm lambskins. Twinkling ambertinged twinned eyes belying desirous surprise, twinkilling soulabsent pain, solely floundering, wallowing through highpiled dunes. Chasing she wades, churning grains, surely grinn...
Version 1
7 Reviews
2 Comments
dry rolling hills brown tallgrass prairie sliced straight across interstate artery native Kansas stone set in sedimentary layers saffron and tan and amber but neverquite van Gogh's chrome yellow except on sunflower billboards growing like weeds small variety striations wide and thin bands and one small width so near the surface starkly whitegray against which the eye catches shine and sparkle an elegant eyemagnet speculation: volcanic ash like the time you saw Spurr blow in Alaska opalescent,...
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Reviews
It's always good to be wanted, or in this case- liked. Interesting guide no doubt compiled over many spilt lattés and tears wondering why Simon Cowell decided to review your piece. I rarely go for the popularity end of things, but now, with the guarantee that my monetary outlay is fully refundable, I am ready to go out an POP-U-LARIZE! BTW, not enough subtle sarcasm... cheers-
Interesting that the notes to reviewer seems to be written as a poem, while the poem is a straightforward direction ;-) The cave/citadel imagery confused me, all the way until "retracted" I'm not sure really what's going on. This part, though is excellent: my fist inside,/ the fabric warm against cold skin.
This is interesting as far as it goes. If it were a synopsis or jacket description, I'd need more detail and less background. The best part comes in right at the end with Avion, so I'd focus on his part. Good Luck.
I like the spirit of experimentation here, but it does feel unfinished... tyr some polishing of images in the flow- from rain/concrete/mud-dirt/day do not seem to lead to "you" and the bikini in the mud as best they can I'm all for some disjointedness, not necessarily in what I write, but I can enjoy it in a solid juxtaposition
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